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Chris Rock

Chris Rock
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Seminole Hard Rock, Hollywood

Better Than: CB4, Head of State, and I Think I Love My Wife combined.

A friendly note to anyone planning to attend an event at the Seminole Hard Rock – get there as early as you can. And after the show, plan to hang out for over an hour before you hit the parking lot and try to leave. Repeated visits to the venue will teach you that insane traffic and rude, I-will-cut-you-off-and-give-you-the-finger drivers seem to make up a hefty portion of the clientele – all of this with nary a traffic cop in sight. We drove smack into Hard Rock traffic at 7:30, and didn’t even actually drive into the parking garage until a full hour later. Chris Rock was scheduled to begin at 8. Our fingers were crossed for an opening act, and thank the Lord, there was one. We were definitely not the only ones who completely missed the warm-up performance.

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Simon Hare and Amber Hawk Swanson

Earlier this week, Amber Hawk Swanson spent her final day on South Beach with her sex doll.The dark-haired 27 year old lounged for one last photo shoot with Amber Doll, the 115 pound-plus silicone figure that was molded from her face.

The sisterly pair sported matching white glam shades. The doll wore a bikini with the word, love, printed on one breast. Amber dressed in a flirty, red sundress. “We’re done, a total wrap,” the Chicago multimedia artist said after the final photos were snapped on a gorgeous sunny day with a postcard-ready blue sky.

Past moments captured when artist and doll went roller-skating, married each other, and sat in on tailgate parties are featured in, “To Have, To Hold, and To Violate: Amber and Doll,” an exhibition at Locust Projects in Wynwood. It opened this Saturday and will show through June 28.

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Folks who know stuff – and one’s gotta presume the folks at a Bill Maher show know stuff – know that stuff is, er, fucked up. A lot of stuff. Among such stuff: oil’s through the roof, housing’s in the gutter, and we’re at war where we shouldn’t even be.

So it stands to damn good reason that a man like Bill Maher would be popular among a certain subset of know-somethings; what seems unreasonable is why all these know-somethings need Bill Maher to tell ‘em what they already know, let alone validate their opinions.

But such seemed to be the case Friday night at The Fillmore Gleason, where America’s favorite leftie curmudgeon preached to a choir that had already concluded their song.

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