Jameis Winston Suspended for Having Worst Taste in Memes

Categories: Sports

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Star quarterback Jameis Winston was suspended for half a game this week for shouting "Fuck her right in the pussy" around FSU's campus. There are probably think pieces or at least pointed tweets to write about how Winston caught more punishment for this than some of his other alleged misdeeds. Those have, will, and should be made, but instead we're just going to talk about memes.

Because Winston chose the worst meme from this summer to get suspended for.

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Six Reasons Nobody Goes to Miami Hurricanes Games at Sun Life

Categories: Sports

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When the Hurricanes announced their "Go to Fewer Games!" campaign before the season began, this is not what they meant. This past Saturday, the paid crowd of 41,519 for the Hurricanes' 41-20 win over Arkansas State looked like half that number in cavernous Sun Life Stadium, and it was a smaller crowd than that at any home game all last year. It's a disappointing trend for a team that once held arguably the greatest home-field advantage in college football.

OK, so Arkansas State isn't exactly a marquee matchup, but this week's game just emphasized a larger trend. The lack of support is puzzling on the surface. How could a fan base that was so in-your-face-vocal only a few years ago be so nonexistent today?

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Here's What That Fastball Did to Giancarlo Stanton's Face

Categories: Sports

via MLB TV

Giancarlo Stanton, the Marlins' sole source of hope, was escorted off the field last week after getting nailed in the face by a fastball thrown by Milwaukee Brewers pitcher Mike Fiers in an incident that later almost triggered a bench-clearing brawl. A fastball to the face is no small injury, and Stanton has released photos of the aftermath of the pitch and the result a week later. Beware: They're not supergruesome, but they're not for the squeamish either.

See also: Video: Marlins Star Giancarlo Stanton Takes Fastball to the Face


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Canes QB Kevin Olsen Arrested on DUI Charges, Had Five IDs on Him

Categories: Sports

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Miami-Dade Corrections
Hurricanes quarterback Kevin Olsen
Is Kevin Olsen the next Seantrel Henderson? He's starting to seem like yet another highly touted University of Miami recruit who will end up being remembered more for his off-the-field antics.

Olson was arrested and booked at 4 a.m. this morning for driving under the influence and for possession of a fake or stolen ID after police stopped him in South Miami.

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Knowshon Moreno's Elbow Bent the Completely Wrong Direction in Fins Loss to Bills

Categories: Sports

That's not what elbows are supposed to do.
Miami has the Dolphins, the greatest most frustrating football team. A week after getting a plethora of good-job-smiley-faces on their Patriots test, the Dolphins came out and bombed their follow-up Buffalo Bills exam 29-10 like they had been out the night before playing Fireball shots flip-cup.

Even worse, the team's best player in week one -- running back Knowshon Moreno -- left the game when his elbow did all kinds of things that the human elbow shouldn't be able to do.

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"Fire Al Golden" Banner Set to Fly at FSU Game After Disgruntled Canes Fans Raise $1,000

Categories: Sports

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Well, that escalated quickly. A crowd-funded campaign to raise cash to fly a "Fire Al Golden" banner at an upcoming UM game has already reached its $1,000 goal; the banner is tentatively scheduled to fly at the November 15th Florida State game, the GoFundMe movement's founder tells Riptide. Now the group is setting its sights on larger goals, and more exposure.

"I had closed donations, but had numerous requests to open back up so others could donate." Danny Vazquez, the creator of the GoFundMe account, says. " I need to talk to all the donors and interested parties, maybe we'll fly a banner for another game, or maybe do something more comical."

See also: Disgruntled UM Fans Raising Money to Fly "Fire Al Golden" Banner at FSU Game

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Video: Marlins Star Giancarlo Stanton Takes Fastball to the Face

Categories: Sports

via MLB TV
In a lot of ways, 2014 has been a damned good year for the the Miami Marlins, with the Fish unexpectedly hanging around the wild-card race all summer with a record right around .500. But they've also had a truly brutal brush of injuries.

Team ace Jose Fernandez was lost for the year way back in May when he blew out his elbow. In August, pitcher Dan Jennings was hit in the head with a terrifying 101 mile per hour line drive comebacker. And last night, the team's superstar, Giancarlo Stanton, had his own frightening on-field emergency when a fastball hit him square in the face.

See also: Video: Marlins Pitcher Dan Jennings Hit in Head by 101 MPH Line Drive

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David Beckham Admits to Being "Cheeky," Appears Ready to Compromise on Stadium Site

Categories: Sports

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David Beckham has admitted, in the most British way possible, that his dreams for a waterfront soccer stadium in downtown Miami might be impossible. Yes, he's admitted to being "cheeky." He now appears ready to compromise for a not-quite-dream site.

See also: David Beckham Considering Old Miami Herald Site for Stadium

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Miami Dolphins Prove Even When NFL Gets It Right on Domestic Violence, Still Gets It Wrong

Categories: Sports

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via NFL's Hard Knocks
Even when an NFL team manages to get it right by punishing a player accused of domestic violence immediately, it's probably by accident.

Back in 2012, Chad "Ochocinco" Johnson was arrested on domestic violence charges for head-butting his then-wife Evelyn Lozada. Less than 24 hours later he was cut from the Miami Dolphins and never played for an NFL team again.

At the time the team was being filmed for the NFL's Hard Knocks, and the cameras chronicled the Fins' decision to let Johnson go. In light of the Ray Rice scandal, it gives an eerie view into how clumsy the NFL culture can be when it comes to concern for domestic violence.

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Six Reasons the Dolphins Big Win Sunday Wasn't a Fluke

Categories: Sports

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So, was that legit? Dolphins fans have to be asking themselves that question this week as the glow wears off from the Phins 33-20 ass-punting of the New England Patriots. After watching the Dolphins start 3-0 last year, then darf-and-barf away the season in every way possible, you really can't blame them.

It seemed like the same old Dolphins early, down 20-10 to the Patriots, swiss-cheese defense, and three-straight drives that resulted in a turnover. Then, it happened. Out of nowhere, the Dolphins did super-not-Dolphins-like-crap, to the shock and amazement of us all. But can they keep it up, especially against a schedule that turns from easy to down right impossible come later in the season?

I think maybe-probably-not they can, and here is why.

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