Jeffrey Loria Just Misses Out on Title of Worst Sports Owner to Guy With Racist Team Name

Categories: Sports

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Just about one of the best things you can say about Jeffrey Loria's stewardship of the Miami Marlins is that he hasn't changed the team's name to something offensive. In fact, an elegant-looking fish is probably one of the least offensive things to name your team for.

And it's that fact that kept Loria from being named the worst professional sports team owner in existence according to Rolling Stone. He had to settle for number two.

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Ten People in Sports Miami Is Thankful For

Categories: Sports

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Ah, Thanksgiving. The day our nation sets aside every year to give thanks, stuff our faces with amazing food, and watch football. God bless America!

Here in South Florida, we have so many things to be thankful for: the weather, the surroundings, the lifestyle, and, of course, our sports. Beyond the more important things in life like family and health, sports play a big of part as anything else in keeping us sane year-round, and for that we are extremely thankful.

Sports is entertainment, one of the few constants in life, and one of the only things set on a schedule that will happen regardless of how your week goes. So let's give thanks to those people that make our entertainment that much more fun and our sports that much more sportastic.

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Brent Grimes: Heart of the Dolphins

Categories: Sports

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Photo by Stian Roenning
Brent Grimes has become an all-out superhero on the gridiron.
In this week's Miami New Times, we profile 30 of the most interesting characters in town, with portraits of each from photographer Stian Roenning. See the entire Miami New Times People Issue here.

Glance at Brent Grimes' resumé before he joined the Dolphins last year and you'd be hard-pressed to imagine him as the type of player who'd get adrenaline flowing at Sun Life Stadium. Standing only five-foot-ten, Grimes played college ball at the tiny Shippensburg University in his native Pennsylvania and didn't get so much as a sniff from NFL scouts on draft day.

But you can't measure heart with a yardstick. And in just a season and a half in South Florida, Grimes' gritty play and crazy athleticism have already marked him as a fan favorite on a resurgent Fins team. When it comes to the Magic City, Grimes says the feeling is mutual.

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Iñaki Goikoetxea: Jai Alai Superstar

Categories: Sports

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Photo by Stian Roenning
Iñaki Goikoetxea has been widely considered the world's best jai alai player.
In this week's Miami New Times, we profile 30 of the most interesting characters in town, with portraits of each from photographer Stian Roenning. See the entire Miami New Times People Issue here.

In his native Basque Country, Iñaki Goikoetxea frequently gets stopped on the street by fans wanting to shake his hand or ask for photographs. In Miami, not so much.

"Here nobody knows who you are or what you do," he says.

If they did, Miamians would probably want a photo too. For more than a decade, Goiko, as he is known, has been widely considered the world's best jai alai player -- not that the soft-spoken 34-year-old would ever point that out. "That's what they say," he shrugs. "I try to do my best every day on the court, and that's it."

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Miami Hurricanes Basketball Team Surges Into AP Poll at #17

Categories: Sports

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All hopes of the Miami Hurricanes football team crashing into the top 25 seem to be dashed this season, but the basketball team should help dry some of those tears. After beating then 7th-ranked Florida last week and breezing through a minor tournament this weekend, the 5-0 team debuted at number 17 in this week's AP basketball poll.


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Dolphins Attempt Worst Onside Kick in History, Lose to Broncos

Categories: Sports

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Just when you think the Miami Dolphins have embarrassed themselves in every possible fashion, they invent new and peculiar ways to make you face-palm. Following a late touchdown and subsequent two-point conversion to cut the Broncos' lead to 39-36, Dolphins kicker Caleb Sturgis lined up for an onside kick. Just then, the Nickelback of onside kicks was born.

Sturgis ran up to the ball all normal, but as he approached it, things took a turn for the worse, as he attempted what is called a "rabona" in soccer. Apparently "rabona" is Spanish for "totally unnecessary unsuccessful thing that looks cool," because the kick made the wettest of fart sounds directly into a Broncos player's bosom, ending the game.

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Jose Canseco Is Not Auctioning Off His Finger on eBay

Categories: Sports

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We've been so busy feeling the schadenfreude of A-Rod, that we've almost forgotten to be embarrassed lately about the original hulking Miami-born baseball slugger: Jose Canseco.

In October Canseco accidentally blasted his own finger off while cleaning a gun in his kitchen. That appears to be true, but a few weeks ago he took to Twitter to claim that his finger had fallen off once again during a game of poker and that he planned to put it up for sale on eBay.

He's no admitted that last part was a hoax.

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Five Reasons Giancarlo Stanton's Huge Deal Will Save Baseball in Miami

Categories: Sports

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The Miami Marlins and their deep pockets are the story of the sports world this week, just as we all predicted.

On Monday, the Marlins formally announced they'd given All-Star slugger Giancarlo Stanton a 13-year, $325 million deal. It's the single most lucrative deal ever given to an an American pro athlete. This is a really real thing the Miami Marlins are doing, so literally nothing in life should ever surprise you again.

It's a great day for baseball in Miami, which has never had the strongest local support. In fact, the mega-deal may have just saved the sport in South Florida.

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Dolphins Crush Bills After Their Cornerback Promised: "We're Going To Beat That A$#"

Categories: Sports

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S---, we're going to go out and beat that ass. Point blank. Period," - Bills cornerback Leodis McKelvin on what would happen when the Bills played the Dolphins.

Final score at Sun Life last night: Dolphins 22, Bills 9. More like LOLdis McKelvin, right? RIGHT?!

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Production Truck Booked for Dolphins Game Stolen From Miami Lakes Hotel

Categories: Crime, Sports

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via NEP
An example of a production truck rented out by NEP
DirecTV's pre-game show for tomorrow Dolphins vs, Bills game is in question thanks to some local thieves.

A producer for the network's Rich Eisen Show went out to the parking lot at the Marriot Hotel in Miami Lakes to check on the production truck they had booked to help produce tomorrow's show only to realize it was missing.

Eisen himself tweeted about the theft.

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