​The Miami Marlins' new star Jose Reyes had to cut off his dreadlocks for $105 million, but online they only sold for $10,200.

Reyes agreed to sheer his trademark dreads in order to meet the Marlin's grooming rules. The haircut was aired live on the MLB network, and the dreads were put up on auction on eBay with the proceeds going to the Make-A-Wish Foundation.
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​Opponents have been raining three pointers down on the Miami Heat all season long, and last night the Orlando Magic decided that was a good idea too, and hit 4,000 17 three pointers, taking the 102-89 win over Miami.

Dwight Howard, who has apparently checked out and doesn't give a shit about basketball anymore, finished the night with 25 points and 24 rebounds, reaching his 20th double-double of the season before the first quarter was even over. Meanwhile Ryan Whitest Name Evar Anderson scored 27, hitting five of Orlando's 17 triples, and grabbing eleven rebounds on the night.
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​So apparently Dolphins owner Stephen Ross, along with a growing number of Dolphins fans, are "infatuated" with the idea of bringing Peyton Manning to Miami next season. Which is ridiculous when you consider that Manning hasn't even cut ties with the Colts yet, and there's no guarantee he'll fully recover form his neck surgery.

Now reports claim that Manning is "not throwing like an NFL quarterback yet." Whatever. Its been more than a decade now since anyone in a Dolphins jersey actually consistently threw like an NFL quarterback anyway, so that's probably good enough for Ross.
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​This is like the baseball fan's version of that time Beyonce went to Cheeseburger Baby.

I was in the courthouse district an hour or so ago when I saw the strangest thing: Baseball superstars David Ortiz and Jose Batista strolling down Northeast 1st Avenue, in full baseball uniform. It was extremely surreal-- if I dreamed of walking into David Ortiz and Jose Batista in Miami's Jewelry district, they would probably be wearing their baseball uniforms. It took about half a second to register that they were not animatronic wax sculptures.

Turns out, they were on break from a commercial shoot.

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​Good news for LeBron James! He's now only the sixth most hated professional athlete in America! That's down from second place on Forbes.com's list last year. Hell, as we've previously noted, he's no longer the most hated player in the NBA. That title now belongs to that guy who had exclusive access to Kim Kardashian's booty for 72 days.
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​Cuban defector Yoenis Cespedes arrived at Miami International Airport this morning ahead of a meeting with top Marlins brass. The Marlins have made no secret of their desire to land the Cuban slugger, and now Cespedes is returning the love.

"It would be good [to play here]," Cespedes said while briefly addressing the media. "There are a lot of Cubans and they would support me a lot. Hopefully I can play for the Marlins."
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​Dwyane Wade led the way with 26 points, while LeBron James added 24 as the Miami Heat took down the Cleveland Cavaliers 107-91 last night.

The Heat will now embark on a five-road-games-in-seven-nights-palooza beginning in Orlando tonight and ending when all the players die from severe fatigue.

But the story of the day isn't so much the Heat beatdown of LeBron's old team, but of Oklahoma City Thunder center and perpetual scowler Kendrick Perkins taking umbrage with one of LeBron's tweets, even though Perkins swears he doesn't care.
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​Ricky Williams, the enigmatic running back who spent the majority of his 11-year NFL career with the Miami Dolphins, is officially retiring from football. No, really, for real this time. After ditching the Dolphins last year, Williams signed a two-year contract with the Baltimore Ravens but has decided to forgo the final year left on that contract.

Update: This probably doesn't deserve its own post, but, hey, looks like Chad Pennington's NFL career is over too.
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​A recent GQ profile of once-high-flying NFL star Terrell Owens -- who's now close to broke despite earning more than $80 million -- has shined a national spotlight this month on his South Florida agent, Drew Rosenhaus, and financial advisor, Jeff Rubin. T.O. has lambasted Rosenhaus's management and sued over an investment gone sour that Rubin set up in a gambling company where he was an executive.

But it seems Rubin's record is even sketchier than T.O.'s high-profile accusations. Not only did he spark a raft of lawsuits by allegedly snookering T.O. and other top-flight football players into investing in the bingo outfit, but also he's facing drug charges in Alabama connected to an August rape complaint.

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​Riptide has a now established tradition of mathematically (in the loosest sense of the word) deciding which team Miamians should root for the in the Super Bowl. This year the answer seems obvious: F*ck the Pats! But should we really f*ck the Pats? Lets run both the New England Patriots and the New York Giant through our nonsensical test to find out!
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