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Style Soldiers - The Pope Would Have A Fit

Wed Apr 23, 2008 at 08:34:34 AM

There is a point when wearing a catholic schoolgirl uniform goes from being cute and attractive to blindingly horrific. This girl crossed that line and kept going. I mean it's one thing to don this get up for some fetish fantasies in the bedroom but this isn't something anyone should wear outside. As for the dude, he sure is handsome. Ungodly handsome. Otherworldly handsome.

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Style Soldiers - Patriotism Gone Awry

Wed Apr 09, 2008 at 08:30:57 AM

It's all well and good to be proud of your heritage, but I'm sure wearing your country's flag as a tank top is a crime outside of the Calle Ocho Festival. If you look closely his socks say "USA", because apparently shaming the Puerto Rican flag isn't enough. Maybe he should have worn a red shirt like his two friends.

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StyleSoldiers - It Came From The Green Lagoon

Thu Mar 27, 2008 at 08:27:14 AM

If you saw this coming down the street, nine times out of ten you would run in the opposite direction. The hair do', the sunglasses and the billowing green sheet she tried to pass off as a dress combine to make a horrendous outfit. It does, however, make the perfect costume for any B movie monster.

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Style Soldiers - Orange Crush

Tue Feb 12, 2008 at 08:24:00 AM

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Normally, orange is a color that is best reserved for citrus fruit, but this guy actually doesn't look abominable in it. He is however one black pair of pants away from being a Halloween decoration. The jeans were a good choice.

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Style Soldiers - The Fashion Follies of Old Age

Fri Jan 25, 2008 at 08:10:00 AM

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It's a known fact that elderly folk don't really care what they put on after a certain age. And honestly, they shouldn't care, they're old and tired. Unfortunately, we are the ones that have to suffer. Take this man in pink and purple, for example. Little does he know that if anyone spots him and stares at his awful combination of colors for more than a minute, their brain will turn to goo.

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Style Soldiers - The Fruit Loops Jacket

Wed Jan 16, 2008 at 08:35:00 AM

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I've yet to understand what the obsession is with red suits, much less ones with stripes that look like Toucan Sam barfed up his fruit loops on the jacket. This woman in heels must have either felt very adventurous or she might have dressed herself in the dark. Forgo the jacket next time lady unless you want to stop traffic, and not in the good way.

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Stye Soldiers - Art Basel Edition

Tue Dec 11, 2007 at 09:50:38 AM

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The lady’s shirt looks like a 2-year-old took a blue pen and went to town on it. Why must people insist on wearing things like this to art events? I don’t need the way you dress to add to the confusion.

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Rarely does wearing pants and shirts that are the same color work, much less when that color is Pepto-Bismol pink. What is it with that window curtain? Oh wait, that’s a sarong. Maybe she brought it along to hide behind.

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Style Soldiers - The Senseless Side of Sears

Fri Dec 07, 2007 at 08:37:39 AM

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I would buy the diamond and crown design on the jacket if only his shirt couldn't be seen from space. Don't stare at that design for too long, you'll go insane. In his defense, at least the shirt and cap match, though that's not much of a defense.

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Style Soldiers - South Beach Mesh

Fri Aug 24, 2007 at 06:02:00 AM

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10 Practical Reasons for Wearing a Mesh Tank-Top

1) In order to be an all-around sexy beast

2) It doubles as a pasta strainer

3) Because everyone knows mesh goes with Bermuda shorts … and a name-plate necklace … and a bleached, Mafioso tip…

4) Solidification of the fact that you, and not Justin Timberlake, did indeed bring sexy back

5) Because you’re a huge fan of Sean Astin’s character (below) in 50 First Dates

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6) Man-boob ventilation

7) To catch tuna, and the occasional unsuspecting dolphin

8) To acquire a natural looking tan

9) Daddy didn’t love you

10) So when you carry around a flower you plucked off a random bush with the obvious intentions of giving it someone, people can question whether or not you play for team “Space-between-the-Thighs” or “Team Tuck-between-the-Thighs”

Tell us your reasons for wearing a mesh top, and don't forget to send your own Style Soldier shots to our Fashion Team.

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Style Soldiers - Miami Cowboy

Thu Jul 26, 2007 at 05:56:35 AM

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Whoah, Cowboy Curtis! I think the secret word for today is nipples. Much like the pronunciation of the letter “L” in salmon, there’s something about a Stetson in Miami that just seems…wrong. First off, where are the cows? Sure, there were some pastures off of the Turnpike back in the 80s when Laurence Fishburne was lassoing a talking terodactyl on Pee-Wee’s Playhouse, but by the release of the Matrix those cows were as long gone as the ones that contributed to Neo’s leather pants. Okay, there is that incongruous horse country out in the middle of Kendall and plenty of rodeos down in Homestead, but there’s something about the sky blue tank top and the Rollerblades he was sporting that leads one to believe that this guy’s a little more John Voit than John Wayne.

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Jessica Simpson Swim Fashion Show

Wed Jul 18, 2007 at 05:01:15 PM

A thin layer of what appeared to be industrial-size Saran-Wrap covered the runway, but it surely wasn't the only plastic present at the debut of Jessica Simpson’s new bathing suit line at the Raleigh Hotel Saturday, July 14. Before the show started surgically-enhanced, wanna-be models strutted up and down the white catwalk, skillfully gliding through the preparatory chaos of silver (or sailor, depending on your perspective) tongued photogs and head-set clad PR girls on the verge of Red Bull induced melt-downs. Perhaps it was the backlash of the previous night’s stigma (Friday the 13th), but extremely odd music played as the masses slowly squeezed inside the narrow, white room showered in femme sky-blue and hot pink lights.


Photo by Jamie Puntumkhul

A tune that distinctly stood out was Aretha Franklin’s “Respect”, an obvious but playful jab at the present media who have in the past few years taken Simpson from lime to spotlight -- souring only a handful of relationships along the way. This is why it was confusing that “Respect” was followed by a Maroon 5 song whose lead singer, Adam Levine, was briefly linked to Simpson shortly after her divorce to Nick Lachey. Perhaps Simpson was trying to further establish a point, but if this were true, wouldn’t “You’re Body is a Wonderland” by John Mayer be more fitting? Even weirder in this musical trilogy of mixed messages was Madonna’s “Holiday,” which Simpson was accused of ripping-off in her single “A Public Affair.”

Yet, there was one thing Simpson was very clear about as The Guess Who’s version of “American Woman” blared overhead and models with meatless rib cages began working the runway – her love for “Don’t Mess with Texas” aesthetics. Models in red, white, and blue suits donned with polka-dots, denim, and nautical stripes for every body type sashayed down the catwalk, each paired with cheesy Lone Star accessories like cowboy boots and Stetsons. Yet, the theme soon died with the conclusion of “American Woman” and Prince’s “Kiss” picked up the pace, creating an entirely new vibe which can only be described as a big, hot mess.

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John Stamos and the Beach Boys Jam for Fashion

Thu Jul 12, 2007 at 06:39:49 AM
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See John jam

When an invite for Jacquelyne Love’s fashion show -- Tuesday night's official opener for the Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Miami Swim -- touted a Beach Boys concert and special guest John Stamos, little did we know it actually meant the studly Stamos would be on stage.

The Beach Boys connection was easy; the swimwear designer is married to founding Beach Boy Mike Love.

As for the Stamos, apparently he’s a fan and has drummed, strummed, and sung with the guys for years. (And between you and me, he looks great doing it!)

Yes, the Stamos is such a stunner, not even his recent slurry interview on Aussie TV (which we tried to ask him about but couldn’t get past security to do so) can detract from his sex-appeal; dressed in black jeans, black T-shirt, black aviators, and white tennis shoes the hunkster crooned for the crowd assembled poolside at the Raleigh Hotel as the bevy of models strutted through shin-high water parading Love’s 45-piece collection.

After a short break, the nine-member band took to the stage for a second time and delivered a 90-minute concert, belting out some of the beach Boys’ greatest hits, including Good Vibrations, Surfing USA, and Surfin’ Safari.

And Stamos -- who we didn’t see take even a wee sip all night -- seemed very much sober at the end of it! --Joanne Green

Category: Style Soldiers
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Fashion Week Miami: Real Curves Demand Real Bathing Suits

Wed Jul 11, 2007 at 02:17:15 PM
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This is not a good fit

In the 60s beach babes rocked the “Itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini.” But back then they weren’t sitting on their asses at a computer all day or drinking high fructose corn syrup by the gallon. Nowadays body types are as varied as personalities, and as a result, waterside fashions run the gamut from buttfloss to full-body unitards, depending on what part of the body is best prepared for the world’s scrutiny.

In honor of Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Miami Swim, the good people at Lycra came up with “Reality Beach.” And it just might be what you need to coax you out of your fully-clothed shell -- a friggin makeover. Tuesday, while the sun was at its hottest, dozens of real women were inside a cool tent perusing rack after rack of Lycra-based swimsuits. The point was to see what works best for you, but a couple of lucky women were chosen to strut their bikini stuff – or stuffed bikini – tonight at the runway show being held at the Raleigh Hotel at 9:30 p.m. For all you model-chasers, this show will feature some “real women”; if you’re coming for the Barbie-type, you just might get the teller from your bank or your kids’ Sunday school teacher. --Raina McLeod

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Style Soldiers - Club Mansion

Wed Jul 11, 2007 at 06:45:00 AM
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People, regardless of what the size-two, store front mannequin at Forever 21 tells you to wear, suspenders should always be avoided. There’s a reason why you can’t find “Blossom” in syndication, see for yourself:

Category: Style Soldiers
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Style Soldiers - Club Mansion

Tue Jul 10, 2007 at 11:45:35 AM
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The slight resemblance to a blow-up doll aside – it was 4 am – in a sea of plain, this girl had her glamour together. She obviously pays attention to relatively recent trends – wearing white, pointed heels, a long, gold chain, and a high-waisted dress with a hem just short enough to show off her legs. Yet, she makes the outfit her own with bold color choices and a hairstyle messy enough to give edge, but sweet enough to get free drinks.

Style Soldiers wants your photos. Show us what you got by sending your best shots here.

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