Miami News Blog

Is it just us, or does Family Feud invariably pit a white family against a black family? It's like the show's producers are daring you to not root for your own race, like the O.J. Simpson trial all over again. It could be argued that race relations in America will not take the next step until Family Feud is off the air - which will never happen because there will always be some broke, obscure former sitcom bit character willing to host the show. (The word in Tinseltown is that once the Boss from Seinfeld kicks the bucket, the fat cop-dad from Family Matters is eager for the gig.)

This Thanksgiving, Feud devotees will get a break from the ol' whites vs. blacks race war when a Miami family, shockingly surnamed Perez, will try its luck at naming what the rest of America thinks is in the bathroom cabinet besides toothpaste.

No word yet on the identity of the opposing family. There's always a chance this could be a Latino vs. Asian episode -- a precious event that occurs at roughly the same frequency as a Halley's comet sighting. 

This Feud might just be seminal enough to deserve a live blog session -- and around that time Thanksgiving afternoon, Riptide will be looking for any excuse to get out of mashing potatoes and husking corn.

via Fox News

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We don't want to give too much away. No, no. It would spoil the climax. But let's just say you can count on the following (in chronological order):

1. A pushy Fox News reporter.
2. An abortion doc from Miami.
3. Yelling.
4. Broken objects.
5. A mustache!

Can you think of a more entertaining situation? Ever? OK, maybe if there were also a mud-wrestling pit. And some whip-its. But, you know, other than that.

irisformultipy'sphoto stream via flickr cc

Busted!

​Just before midnight, the Pollo Tropical is empty, except for a couple of teenagers pointing toward the window and smirking. They've spotted a peculiar-looking 38-year-old who's crouching behind a bush outside in the darkness. He's clad in a Sesame Street T-shirt and a gold chain necklace, and his once-slicked-back hair is frazzled. He holds a Sony video camera the way a soldier grips a rifle.

A few minutes later, a cop car pulls up to the restaurant on North State Road 7 in Plantation. The mustached officer asks him to produce a permit for "whatever the heck you're doing out here." The bush prowler shoots back that he's "on public property" and "not doing anything illegal." Blinking, the policeman takes down his name and drives away.

As the cop leaves, the bush man adds rebelliously: "I'm with the Justice Junkies, and you'll be hearing a lot more from me!"

Florida Memorial University has had a rough recent history. In 2005, 15 employees were accused of changing students' grades in return for cash and sexual favors. Last November, a 17-year-old student was shot on campus. And this year, the school's president was abruptly canned.

Add yesterday's near-riot to the list. As shown in the above video, a fracas between students and security guards, employed by Allied Barton, erupted on campus on Monday. At the thirty-second mark, a nightstick-wielding guard can be seen battling a student in a bathroom as a mob attempts to push in. At the 1:13 mark, a guard pulls his handgun and points it at the crowd after a student kicks through the bathroom door. None of the students appear to be armed.

This week, New Times publishes "Dwyane's Disaster," a cover story about Dwyane Wade's catastrophic partnership with Richard von Houtman, a British baron with a sordid past. Von Houtman has been making wild allegations about the Heat superstar's personal life since their business relationship dissolved.

Two weeks after Wade responded by filing a libel lawsuit in Miami-Dade County, I sat down with him at the Overtown Youth Center, where he and Alonzo Mourning were promoting the annual charity event Summer Groove. After getting no response from his lawyer to questions about von Houtman, I decided to see what the man himself had to say. Our in-house videographer extraordinaire Jacob Katel accompanied me.

The video begins with Wade gamely responding to a nonspecific question about fame's hurtful effect on his previously sparkling image. Then I utter the name "Richard von Houtman," and it devolves from there. My favorite part is Alonzo Mourning standing by waiting to be interviewed, realizing what's going on, and then disappearing like Batman from a rooftop.

Miami's Sex Offender Village from Miami New Times on Vimeo.

We long ago gave up on getting any credit from larger media outlets piggybacking on our sex-offenders-under-the-bridge scoop -- the story that made the rest of the nation recognize Miami-Dade County's supreme fucked-up-ness.

The terrible situation is bigger than one journalist's find, and the more scrutiny the better, so we were pleased to see the Miami Herald -- which waited nearly a month after the story broke to report on it -- publish an expansive Sunday-edition front-page feature and video on life in the larger-than-ever Julia Tuttle Causeway colony.

All that said, c'mon -- if you're going to spin off of our reporting and go out of your way not to utter the phrase Miami New Times, get your quotes right. Especially when the videotape is rolling.

We would've thought Miami-Dade transit parties would be dull affairs -- you know, where the administrators get tipsy and see who can recite the Sunday schedule for Route J the quickest. 

What would you do if you only had 10 days left in Miami? If your answer is "film a web series documenting all the best things the city has to offer," too late someone already beat you. Two self described hipsters, Rio Chavarro and Jason Michael Kesser (from 'Cornerstone Experiential Arts' and 'Who's Your DaDa'), take you on a tour of their Miami lives in "5 Minutes in Miami." Episode one went up four weeks ago and featured Sweat Records. Episode two went up four hours ago (so we're really not sure of the frequency of the series) and tours Churchill's and B.E.D. If you watch enough of these it'll almost feel like you've gone out more than a handful of times in the last month.

--Kyle Munzenrieder

Mitchell Kaplan is one of Miami’s most beloved figures. As the owner of Books & Books, he already had established a headquarters for a then burgeoning literary scene. When he co-founded the Miami International Book Fair 25 years ago, Kaplan helped to further cement the city as a mecca for everyone who is anyone in the writing world.

This year, the Miami International Book Fair will offer a first foray into public book readings for many new authors, and quite a few frequent visitors will return, including Martha Stewart, Nikki Giovanni, Salman Rushdie, and -- appearing as a cowbell player in the literati band the Rock Bottom Remainders , not as an author -- Simpsons creator Matt Groening, who, according to Kaplan made his Book Fair debut a quarter century or so ago at the very first fair. Mitchell Kaplan shared some of his fondest Book Fair memories with me at the Café at Books & Books -- click the video above to hear the man himself wax nostalgic about the likes of James Baldwin and Gore Vidal.

The Miami International Book Fair began on Sunday but it goes through November 16. Click here for a complete schedule of events and authors.

-- Patrice Yursik

In this week's issue of the New Times, writer Francisco Alvarado looks into the history of Lincoln and Mario Diaz-Balart and their probable exit as U.S. congressmen after years of strong support from their districts. It's a reality facing many Republican candidates as a wave of anti-Republican sentiment is sweeping the nation due to the failing economy and the war in Iraq. The brothers also face another hurdle, Raul Martinez and Joe Garcia, two strong opponents with enough political savvy to pull the rug from underneath their feet.

Videographer Jacob Katel captured footage of Lincoln Diaz-Balart, as well as his opponent Raul Martinez, while they campaigned in Miami for re-election. More after the jump.

Miami Night Sky: Time Lapse from Lonny Paul on Vimeo.

Two Vimeo users recently pointed their time-lapse cameras on Miami and achieved some pretty stunning results. The above video by Lonny Paul shows downtown at dawn. Paul also caught a storm in process. Click on the "more" button to get another pretty amazing time-lapse video of downtown by Corey Weiner.

--Kyle Munzenrieder

Michael McElroy

If you haven't read our profile on local artist Clifton Childree, you are missing out on getting to know one of the city's most inventive people. Childree's work is mostly done via film, for which he creates elaborate sets, recreating silent-era imagery laced with juvenile humor.

Just so you can witness the extent of Childree's perverted/genius thinking, here is a clip of his 2006 short Something Awful, which is mildly NSFW. Clip after the jump.