Just before midnight, the Pollo Tropical is empty, except for a couple of teenagers pointing toward the window and smirking. They've spotted a peculiar-looking 38-year-old who's crouching behind a bush outside in the darkness. He's clad in a Sesame Street T-shirt and a gold chain necklace, and his once-slicked-back hair is frazzled. He holds a Sony video camera the way a soldier grips a rifle.
A few minutes later, a cop car pulls up to the restaurant on North State Road 7 in Plantation. The mustached officer asks him to produce a permit for "whatever the heck you're doing out here." The bush prowler shoots back that he's "on public property" and "not doing anything illegal." Blinking, the policeman takes down his name and drives away.
As the cop leaves, the bush man adds rebelliously: "I'm with the Justice Junkies, and you'll be hearing a lot more from me!"
Florida Memorial University has had a rough recent history. In 2005, 15 employees were accused of changing students' grades in return for cash and sexual favors. Last November, a 17-year-old student was shot on campus. And this year, the school's president was abruptly canned.
Add yesterday's near-riot to the list. As shown in the above video, a fracas between students and security guards, employed by Allied Barton, erupted on campus on Monday. At the thirty-second mark, a nightstick-wielding guard can be seen battling a student in a bathroom as a mob attempts to push in. At the 1:13 mark, a guard pulls his handgun and points it at the crowd after a student kicks through the bathroom door. None of the students appear to be armed.
The story of Christine Morales, the should-be-ashamed former assistant director at the City of Miami Building Department, is one of squandered opportunity. Christine earned more than $100,000 a year doing who knows what, and not very much of it. Surveillance footage obtained by Miami New Times reveals Christine's nervous body language as she plays hooky, arrives late, and leaves early, all while collecting a fat check made of our tax dollars.
Had she not pissed off a union by firing one of its members for -- wait for it -- excessive tardiness, thus prompting the union to pay a detective to follow and videotape her, she could have flown under the radar her entire career and avoided the chain of events that led to her resignation.
If your apetite for laughing at Nazis wasn't fulfilled by Inglourious Basterds, a new short from local production company Peripheral Films, the same crew behind The Dual, might do the trick.
In Papers, a crew of German SS officers wind up working the counter of Super Sweet Donuts, which we're guessing doesn't serve challah or bagels with schmear, but we bet their fastnachts are delicious.
The film is competing in Funny or Die's Let's Go Viral contest, and it's probably the best piece of Nazi-related pastry filmmaking since the strudel-and-cream scene in Basterds.
​If you haven't yet seen Fuerza Bruta, you have only three more days to catch this visually dazzling, interactive spectacle.
For the $64 general admission ticket, you will see some pretty nifty acrobatics; get socked with confetti, spritzed with water, and dragged into a dance routine; and touch a glass ceiling.
The show's general story line follows a dude in perpetual motion, running from something, or maybe toward something, but what we don't quite know. Yet the journey is worth every minute. For ticket info, call 305-949-6722 or visit the Arsht Center online.
After the jump, check out some video footage of Fuerza Bruta:
Dealing with traffic accidents in Miami is a tricky thing. Why can't we act like civilized 17th-centuary gentlemen? Oh right, because they settled everything with duels.
The latest video by local improv group A Pair of Nuts and production crew Peripheral Films was the featured video on Internet "haha"-factory FunnyOrDie.com. The Nuts also have a few other videos on the site, including a Fidel Castro work-out video.
This week, New Times publishes "Dwyane's Disaster," a cover story about Dwyane Wade's catastrophic partnership with Richard von Houtman, a British baron with a sordid past. Von Houtman has been making wild allegations about the Heat superstar's personal life since their business relationship dissolved.
Two weeks after Wade responded by filing a libel lawsuit in Miami-Dade County, I sat down with him at the Overtown Youth Center, where he and Alonzo Mourning were promoting the annual charity event Summer Groove. After getting no response from his lawyer to questions about von Houtman, I decided to see what the man himself had to say. Our in-house videographer extraordinaire Jacob Katel accompanied me.
The video begins with Wade gamely responding to a nonspecific question about fame's hurtful effect on his previously sparkling image. Then I utter the name "Richard von Houtman," and it devolves from there. My favorite part is Alonzo Mourning standing by waiting to be interviewed, realizing what's going on, and then disappearing like Batman from a rooftop.
Cigarette and Black-N-Mild smoke wafted throughout the already stifling hot warehouse at 19100 SW 106 Ave. in unincorporated Miami-Dade.
It was shortly after 9 p.m. this past June 20 when more than 100 relatives, friends, and members of the street gang Latin Syndicate filed into Bad Dog Fight Club, aka The Kennel, to witness some of their boys duke it out inside a chainlink-enclosed fighting ring.
Most of them paid the $20 cover to get in, while some plunked down $50 each for a front row VIP seat. And they could have cared less that there was no air conditioning or fans to cool down the massive amount of body heat being generated inside the Kennel.
The sauna effect seemed to enhance the already hyper-aggressive tension in the crowd. Whenever the sound system blared tracks by K.A.R. South Mafia artists, some of whom are ex-Syndicate members, the spectators would throw up their beloved gang sign. It was like waiting for a powder keg of violence to explode.
Here is an informative and entertaining video explaining how we are all probably socialists for going to the beach all the time. Happy Memorial Day weekend.
[Wonkette: Beaches Are Communist; Stay Home This Weekend]
Exxxotica has left us with many things, including plenty of porn for the next few monthsweeks days, a slideshow and something probably only antibiotics can take care of. But before we close out the chapter on this year's porn convention, videographer Jacob Katel gives us a glimpse of the people who turned out for this year's event. Enjoy!
Video is semi-NSFW. In other words, if you don't want to explain to your boss what you're watching, wait until you get home -- you can then share that awkward experience with your wife/girlfriend/dog.
We long ago gave up on getting any credit from larger media outlets piggybacking on our sex-offenders-under-the-bridge scoop -- the story that made the rest of the nation recognize Miami-Dade County's supreme fucked-up-ness.
The terrible situation is bigger than one journalist's find, and the more scrutiny the better, so we were pleased to see the Miami Herald -- which waited nearly a month after the story broke to report on it -- publish an expansive Sunday-edition front-page feature and video on life in the larger-than-ever Julia Tuttle Causeway colony.
All that said, c'mon -- if you're going to spin off of our reporting and go out of your way not to utter the phrase Miami New Times, get your quotes right. Especially when the videotape is rolling.
Usually you become a rap superstar and then get into crazy shenanigans on South Beach. It sure is a bummer that a hooker almost bit off Vince Shlomi's tongue, because beforehand, he obviously had a golden flow.
If you read Gus Garcia-Roberts' article about the sex offenders under the bridge and how Liberty City Pastor Vincent Spann wants to house them in a warehouse on an industrial side of town, then you already know about the Julia Tuttle Causeway Bridge under which some sex offenders are living as per Dade County rules and regulations.
What you might not know is what the place looks like. Check out this video and see for yourself.
Last night The Daily Show aired a special report on old people in Miami Beach having sex with each other. Delightful! Might have been a bit more shocking if we hadn't seen NBC6 interview some of the same seniors a few months back. While The Daily Show is the master of comedic editing, and taking the perfect quote out of context, seniors talking about sex is always funny. See the NBC6 clip behind the cut. Though, maybe the crew up in Miramar could learn a few things from the Daily Show crew: don't laugh at your own reports even if they are hilarious.
We would've thought Miami-Dade transit parties would be dull affairs -- you know, where the administrators get tipsy and see who can recite the Sunday schedule for Route J the quickest.Â
But no, director Harpal Kapoor, an Indian-born sikh, and his merry band of bureacrats go buck-wild after hours. Evidence: This YouTube video that shows him urging his employees to join him in practicing bhangra, the Punjabi folk dance. The Miami-Dade Solid Waste Management Polka Team better step up its game.
The stimulus package Barack Obama is pushing will be a defining part of his presidency, and these events that he's held the past couple of days should be treated as sort of historic. Yet, at the end of the day all we care about is that Obama said some funny thing about Charlie Crist and a hose and this very excited kid in the audiance.
Sigh.
Though, if you don't understand the Stimulus package by now, you probably don't care. So, here is this video. From Rick Sanchez's show none the less. [via Wonkette]
"How do you do? You see all this shrubbery in the back round here? This is one of the most beautiful atmospheres in the world. You might think I'm in ...some kind of an island somewhere far off everyplace where's this some kind of unbelievable resort area a thousand miles or a million miles from New York. But you want me to tell you where I am? Miami Beach. When you go to Miami Beach you think 'Well it's nothing,' So happens, this is one of the most beautiful areas in the world, and as a resort are it makes some of those cockamamie islands that people get excited about look like crap."
What. The. Hell. Jackie Mason?
"It makes some of those cockamamie islands that people get excited about look like crap," might be a fine choice for Miami Beach's next official slogan, but this is not how you traditionally start off your Anti-Obama YouTube video.
What would you do if you only had 10 days left in Miami? If your answer is "film a web series documenting all the best things the city has to offer," too late someone already beat you. Two self described hipsters, Rio Chavarro and Jason Michael Kesser (from 'Cornerstone Experiential Arts' and 'Who's Your DaDa'), take you on a tour of their Miami lives in "5 Minutes in Miami." Episode one went up four weeks ago and featured Sweat Records. Episode two went up four hours ago (so we're really not sure of the frequency of the series) and tours Churchill's and B.E.D. If you watch enough of these it'll almost feel like you've gone out more than a handful of times in the last month.
Mitchell Kaplan is one of Miami’s most beloved figures. As the owner of Books & Books, he already had established a headquarters for a then burgeoning literary scene. When he co-founded the Miami International Book Fair 25 years ago, Kaplan helped to further cement the city as a mecca for everyone who is anyone in the writing world.
In this week's issue of the New Times, writer Francisco Alvarado looks into the history of Lincoln and Mario Diaz-Balart and their probable exit as U.S. congressmen after years of strong support from their districts. It's a reality facing many Republican candidates as a wave of anti-Republican sentiment is sweeping the nation due to the failing economy and the war in Iraq. The brothers also face another hurdle, Raul Martinez and Joe Garcia, two strong opponents with enough political savvy to pull the rug from underneath their feet.
Videographer Jacob Katel captured footage of Lincoln Diaz-Balart, as well as his opponent Raul Martinez, while they campaigned in Miami for re-election. More after the jump.
Two Vimeo users recently pointed their time-lapse cameras on Miami and achieved some pretty stunning results. The above video by Lonny Paul shows downtown at dawn. Paul also caught a storm in process. Click on the "more" button to get another pretty amazing time-lapse video of downtown by Corey Weiner.
If you haven't read our profile on local artist Clifton Childree, you are missing out on getting to know one of the city's most inventive people. Childree's work is mostly done via film, for which he creates elaborate sets, recreating silent-era imagery laced with juvenile humor.
Just so you can witness the extent of Childree's perverted/genius thinking, here is a clip of his 2006 short Something Awful, which is mildly NSFW. Clip after the jump.
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