Married Porn Star Sues BangBros Citing Florida's Antiquated Law Against Adultery

Categories: WTF Florida

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Isabella's Turn is the rarest of things: a porno with a truly unexpected ending.

It begins normally enough. A busty brunette named Isabella walks into an all-white office room. A sleazy dude with hand tattoos says, "So what brings you here today? You want to be in a pornography movie?"

"Yep, because I like to have sex," Isabella answers. "You know, making a little money off of it isn't so bad either. So why not give it a shot?" Sleazy dude takes photos. The two get naked. Yadda yadda yadda. You know the rest.

It's only when the cameras stop rolling that shit starts to get weird.

See also: This Is How BangBros Made a Porno Featuring a 15-Year-Old Beauty Queen and a Murderer

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Drones Coming to Disney World, but Don't Worry They're Fun Drones

Categories: WTF Florida

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Drones get a bad wrap. Yes, they can be used as tools of war to kill people and conduct covert surveillance, sure, but they can also be fun!

Disney has filed patents for drones it hopes to one day use in its theme parks, but Central Florida is not about to become a Micky Mouse-run police state.

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Hanging With a Pitbull Impersonator at Dolphin Mall Is an Only-in-Miami Experience

Categories: WTF Florida

It's the dinner hour at Dolphin Mall, and the food court is a busy hive. Teenagers guzzle from Smoothie King cups while tables full of abuelitas fire Gatling-gun Spanish over steaming plates of Lotus Express. At the Segafredo Zanetti Espresso kiosk, a young girl in black shirt and pants offers a sample tray, her face wearing a look you'd see in a dentist's waiting room. People snatch toothpicked mini-sandwiches off her plate. She stares off, bored and brooding. Then an immaculately white suit sleeve crosses her vision.

"Hola, linda," comes the scratchy growl. Her head snaps like a jack out of the box. Is it? There's the cue-ball dome, the jester's grin, the sunglasses hiding half his face like a limo's tinted window. "Oh my God," she purrs. "OH MY GOD!" She locks bugging eyes with the stranger. "I love you!"


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Meet the Controversial Brazilian Church Behind Flagler Street "We Undo Witchcraft" Sign

Categories: WTF Florida

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Google Street View
The sign on the corner of West Flagler Street and SW 35th Avenue is huge and explicit: "DESHACEMOS BRUJERIA," it says in white block letters over a red-and-black background, with an 800 number listed below. "WE UNDO WITCHCRAFT."

It's left many a driver doing a doubletake and mouthing, ¿Qué? Curiosity has built in recent months, with a Reddit post on the topic inspiring dozens of comments and a Twitter outburst speculating as to what the church is up to. The truth may actually be stranger than the internet speculation about bubbling cauldrons and Santería rituals.

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Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean Ride Keeps Chopping Off Tourists' Fingers

Categories: WTF Florida

Photo by Jonnyboyca via Wikimedia Commons
If you've ever enjoyed the cheesy pleasures of Disney World's Pirates of the Caribbean ride, you've surely noted the numerous signs advising guests to keep their hands and arms inside the cars. It seems those are no idle warnings.

Pirates of the Caribbean, in fact, is a voracious finger-eating monster. Just a little more than a week after a British tourist lost parts of two fingers to the ride comes news this morning that a 12-year-old boy sacrificed four fingers to the cruel gods of overly drawn-out Johnny Depp franchises.

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Miami Man Says He Found a Band-Aid in Chicken Kitchen Curry

Categories: WTF Florida

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Photo by Mark Gadala
Mark Gadala had a bad Monday afternoon.

The 25-year-old founder of Lucid Digital, a Brickell Avenue web design company, typically eats at the Brickell Plaza Chicken Kitchen a couple of times a week. Around 3 p.m. Monday he once again visited the location and ordered a Mexican Chop Chop, a variation of the company's signature dish of chopped grilled chicken over yellow rice. But when Gadala went to spread curry sauce over his plate, he noticed something light brown floating in the green sauce; assuming it was a chicken bone, he began to dig it out with his finger.

It wasn't a chicken bone. Gadala had found a used Band-Aid. "It was just the most appalling thing you can imagine," he tells Riptide.

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Sharks in a Jar, Miami's Creepiest Tourist Trinkets, May Finally Be on the Way Out

Categories: WTF Florida

photo by Michael E. Miller
Sharks in a jar at a South Beach tourist shop
The trappings of a tourist trip to South Beach have changed over the decades. White linen suits became "I'm in Miami Bitch" shirts. String bikinis became bizarre fishnet dresses (albeit still worn over string bikinis). The circle of life. Throughout it all, however, there has been one creepy constant: sharks in a motherf---ing jar.

Anyone who's spent time in one of Lincoln Road's many trinket shops has seen them -- tiny, ten-inch creatures suspended in a mysterious blue liquid and simply labeled "Shark." But there are signs that SoBe's sharks in a jar are becoming an endangered species.

Wings, one of Lincoln Road mall's most popular shops, is getting rid of the infamous souvenir because of customer complaints. It's not a day too soon according to animal rights activists.

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The Ten Distinct States That Make Up Florida

Categories: WTF Florida

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Illustration by Kevin Cannon
Click the image for larger version of the map.
Florida has a reputation as America's weirdest state, but there's hardly any national appreciation for the fact that Florida has several culturally distinct regions of weirdness to choose from.

In fact, sometimes it seems weird that Florida is considered one state at all. It's high time someone drew a realistic map of the individual states that make up this bizarre peninsula. So we employed a team of cartographers, geographers, statisticians, and freelance whiskey distillers to draft one, and here's what they've come up with:

See also: Miami Slang Glossary: Pero Like, It's Super-Definitive, Bro

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Florida Woman Bulldozed Her Neighbors' Home

Categories: WTF Florida

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Unless Ana Maria Moreta Folch wanted the undisputed title of "worst neighbor ever," we're not sure what she was thinking. In any case, the woman clearly does not mess around.

After deciding she didn't like her neighbors, Folch hired a contractor to demolish their home.

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Florida's Anti-Pot Leader Once Claimed Weed Was Linked With Homosexuality, AIDS

Categories: WTF Florida

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photo via PabloEvan's Flickr
This week, the first organized opposition to Florida's looming vote on legalized marijuana has set up shop in Tampa, thanks to a six-figure donation from GOP power player Mel Sembler. To front his new anti-pot PAC, Sembler chose Carlton Turner, a former drug czar for President Ronald Reagan.

Unfortunately for the anti-weed crowd, Turner's impressive resume comes weighed down with a hell of a skeleton. Namely, a 1986 Newsweek story headlined "Reagan Aide: Pot Can Make You Gay." Yep, Turner's that aide.

See also: Florida Sheriffs Association Comes Out Against Medical Marijuana: #DontLetFlGoToPot

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