Meet the Controversial Brazilian Church Behind the Flagler Street "We Undo Witchcraft" Sign

Categories: WTF Florida

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Google Street View
The sign on the corner of West Flagler Street and SW 35th Avenue is huge and explicit: "DESHACEMOS BRUJERIA," it says in white block letters over a red-and-black background, with an 800 number listed below. "WE UNDO WITCHCRAFT."

It's left many a driver doing a double take and mouthing, ¿Qué? Curiosity has built in recent months, with a Reddit post on the topic inspiring dozens of comments and a Twitter outburst speculating as to what the church is up to. The truth may actually be stranger than the internet speculation about bubbling cauldrons and Santería rituals.

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Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean Ride Keeps Chopping Off Tourists' Fingers

Categories: WTF Florida

Photo by Jonnyboyca via Wikimedia Commons
If you've ever enjoyed the cheesy pleasures of Disney World's Pirates of the Caribbean ride, you've surely noted the numerous signs advising guests to keep their hands and arms inside the cars. It seems those are no idle warnings.

Pirates of the Caribbean, in fact, is a voracious finger-eating monster. Just a little more than a week after a British tourist lost parts of two fingers to the ride comes news this morning that a 12-year-old boy sacrificed four fingers to the cruel gods of overly drawn-out Johnny Depp franchises.

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Miami Man Says He Found a Band-Aid in Chicken Kitchen Curry

Categories: WTF Florida

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Photo by Mark Gadala
Mark Gadala had a bad Monday afternoon.

The 25-year-old founder of Lucid Digital, a Brickell Avenue web design company, typically eats at the Brickell Plaza Chicken Kitchen a couple of times a week. Around 3 p.m. Monday he once again visited the location and ordered a Mexican Chop Chop, a variation of the company's signature dish of chopped grilled chicken over yellow rice. But when Gadala went to spread curry sauce over his plate, he noticed something light brown floating in the green sauce; assuming it was a chicken bone, he began to dig it out with his finger.

It wasn't a chicken bone. Gadala had found a used Band-Aid. "It was just the most appalling thing you can imagine," he tells Riptide.

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Sharks in a Jar, Miami's Creepiest Tourist Trinkets, May Finally Be on the Way Out

Categories: WTF Florida

photo by Michael E. Miller
Sharks in a jar at a South Beach tourist shop
The trappings of a tourist trip to South Beach have changed over the decades. White linen suits became "I'm in Miami Bitch" shirts. String bikinis became bizarre fishnet dresses (albeit still worn over string bikinis). The circle of life. Throughout it all, however, there has been one creepy constant: sharks in a motherf---ing jar.

Anyone who's spent time in one of Lincoln Road's many trinket shops has seen them -- tiny, ten-inch creatures suspended in a mysterious blue liquid and simply labeled "Shark." But there are signs that SoBe's sharks in a jar are becoming an endangered species.

Wings, one of Lincoln Road mall's most popular shops, is getting rid of the infamous souvenir because of customer complaints. It's not a day too soon according to animal rights activists.

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The Ten Distinct States That Make Up Florida

Categories: WTF Florida

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Illustration by Kevin Cannon
Click the image for larger version of the map.
Florida has a reputation as America's weirdest state, but there's hardly any national appreciation for the fact that Florida has several culturally distinct regions of weirdness to choose from.

In fact, sometimes it seems weird that Florida is considered one state at all. It's high time someone drew a realistic map of the individual states that make up this bizarre peninsula. So we employed a team of cartographers, geographers, statisticians, and freelance whiskey distillers to draft one, and here's what they've come up with:

See also: Miami Slang Glossary: Pero Like, It's Super-Definitive, Bro

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Florida Woman Bulldozed Her Neighbors' Home

Categories: WTF Florida

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Unless Ana Maria Moreta Folch wanted the undisputed title of "worst neighbor ever," we're not sure what she was thinking. In any case, the woman clearly does not mess around.

After deciding she didn't like her neighbors, Folch hired a contractor to demolish their home.

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Florida's Anti-Pot Leader Once Claimed Weed Was Linked With Homosexuality, AIDS

Categories: WTF Florida

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photo via PabloEvan's Flickr
This week, the first organized opposition to Florida's looming vote on legalized marijuana has set up shop in Tampa, thanks to a six-figure donation from GOP power player Mel Sembler. To front his new anti-pot PAC, Sembler chose Carlton Turner, a former drug czar for President Ronald Reagan.

Unfortunately for the anti-weed crowd, Turner's impressive resume comes weighed down with a hell of a skeleton. Namely, a 1986 Newsweek story headlined "Reagan Aide: Pot Can Make You Gay." Yep, Turner's that aide.

See also: Florida Sheriffs Association Comes Out Against Medical Marijuana: #DontLetFlGoToPot

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USF Bans Selfies at Graduation

Categories: WTF Florida

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via Pinterest
After we get to these diplomas, can we go smoke a cigarette? I really need one. But first, Let me take a #selfie.

Sorry soon-to-graduate University of South Florida students. There will be no selfies allowed on the graduation stage. The school has added photographing your self to the list of discouraged graduation ceremony behaviors.

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Sorry Florida, Stuffed Baby Alligators In Odd Poses Are About To Become Illegal

Categories: WTF Florida

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Photo by Ianaré Sévi via Wikimedia Commons.
Looking for a nice stuffed baby alligator posed so it looks like it's waving hello for your living room or bedside table? Better act fast.

The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission proposed a new set of alligator-related rules Thursday, and, in addition to suggesting changes like a new 24-hour hunting season, the Commission moved to outlaw the sale of stuffed baby alligators that depict "an unnatural body or body part positioning." That means those irresistible stuffed standing--and yes, waving--baby alligators would become illegal.

See also: Boob Mugs and Novelty Thongs: Kitschy Gifts from South Beach's Sleaziest Stores

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Crush Porn Actress Arrested at MIA, Charged With Cruelty to Animals

Categories: WTF Florida

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Miami-Dade Corrections
Stephanie Hird has been charged with animal cruelty for appearing in "crush porn."
For the second time this month, a woman has been arrested in Miami for participating in "crush porn."

Stephanie Hird, 29, was busted yesterday while trying to board a flight at Miami International Airport. Her arrest comes two weeks after another woman, Sara Zamora, was also arrested for animal cruelty. Police say the women appear in locally made fetish videos killing small animals and then committing sex acts on camera.

See also: Invasion of the Amazon Women

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