Turns out Filomena Tobias, the woman captured in that now-iconic photo flipping off Joakim Noah during last night's Heat-Bulls game, might be the most bizarrely interesting woman in the world. How bizarrely interesting? Well, this is the nut graph from a 2008 New York magazine story about the death of her fourth husband:

The hedge-funder Seth Tobias was found dead in his pool. His hard-partying wife has been accused of his murder by her internet psychic, who also says the hedge-funder was having an affair with a male stripper named Tiger. And it just gets more sordid from there.

Yeah. That kind of crazy.

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When a police officer pulled over a speeding red Mitsubishi going 57 in a 35 zone it seemed like it would be a pretty cut and dry speeding ticket situation. The officer turned on his lights to pull the car over. At first the driver turned off his lights and sped up to 65 miles per hour but eventually pulled the car over into a parking lot. Though, the car took off again, only to stop a short while away.

The officer must have been relieved to end the cat-and-mouse game, however when he approached the window only to be baffled to find no one inside.

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A 90-year-old Florida man survived on nothing but snacks while he was trapped in his car for four days.

Justyn Ambrozia of New Port Richey slipped and fell inside a grocery store last week, but instead of calling paramedics, the grocery store staff helped Ambrozia out to his car and sent him on his way. Ambrozia managed to drive home, but when he parked his car in his garage he realized he still wasn't able to properly walk. So he sat there trapped in his own garage for four days.

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via Lee County Sheriff's Office

Scott Barron

There are lots of appropriate places to masturbate on a fine Florida Saturday afternoon. Your bedroom. A locked, private bathroom. Even the cabin of your sailboat probably would be AOK.

However, the open deck of your sailboat -- especially when that boat is parked on a public boat dock full of weekend traffic -- is not one of those acceptable locations. A 67-year-old Florida man was arrested this week for breaking that common sense rule and then explaining to a sheriff's deputy that he was simply "exercising."

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There's hot new church trend sweeping Orlando's thriving megachurch scene: pastors sleeping with ladies who aren't their wives. For the third time in the last six months, a leader of a popular church in Orlando has resigned after admitting to damaging the sanctity of his marriage.

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Olivia Sprauer was teaching high school students English during the day but pursuing some eye-popping extra curricular activities of her own once school let out. The 26-year-old Martin County High School teacher was relieved of duty late last month after the school's principal discovered she had a side gig as a busty "eye candy" model.

[Warning: Some semi-NSFW photos below.]

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Daylan Holloman had a bit of species identity confusion this week at a Daytona Beach 7-Eleven. For reasons he couldn't remember, Holloman called 911, and when police showed up, he told them he was a monkey and stripped naked in some sort of attempt to prove his point.More »

The last time Brenda Heist's children saw her, she had dropped them off at school. They returned home to find dinner defrosting and the laundry half done, but mom was missing. Despite an extensive search, Heist was never found. Three years ago, Heist's husband even petitioned to have her legally declared dead.

Well, she turned up this week after turning herself into police in the Florida Keys. She had been living there as a homeless woman for the past decade.

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Fast food really isn't all that fast. Especially in Miami (we've got a great work ethic in this town, don't you know), but apparently that pops up in other parts of the state.

An attempted robbery at a Wendy's in Longwood, Florida, was foiled after the workers took too long complying with the would-be robber's requests.

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If you're going to call 911 eighty consecutive times, you'd better have a damn good reason: snakes biting your eyeballs, bikers armed with medieval weapons circling your house, multiple missing limbs.

A 34-year-old man in Tampa did not have a damn good reason for calling 911 eighty times last Sunday. Jarvis Carlton Sutton wanted Kool-Aid, hamburgers, and weed, and he wanted police to bring them to him.

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