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Strip Club Dining Guide

Categories: Cheap Eats
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South Florida is Babylon, strip club paradise, the lap dance capital, champagne room headquarters. And you can get a steak with that shake. Here's Short Order's first-ever strip club dining guide. Tell us what you think and what you think is missing.

Cheetah Hallandale Beach
100 Ansin Blvd, Hallandale, FL - (954) 455-2131
Hostess Sabrina says "A lot of people come in to eat. It's a free lunch, the food is good and you get to see pretty naked girls at the same time. What guy wouldn't want to see that?" Free lunch during the day from 11:30 a.m. to 3 p.m.

Pink Pony
7971 NW 33rd St, Doral, FL - (305) 513-3780

Jennifer the door girl says: "A lot of people, the first thing they ask is if you got a kitchen and then they order as soon as they sit down, they order food and drink."
Short Order - So even before the dancing, it's the menu?
Jennifer- Yeah.
Short Order - What do you like to eat there?
Jennifer - I like the skirt steak
Short Order- What about the take-off-the-skirt-steak?
Jennifer- What?
Short Order- It's a strip club right? That was a joke. So who gets more attention the chicken wings or the dancers?
Jennifer- God no. The dancers

Club Lexx
12001 NW 27th Ave, Miami, FL - (305) 685-7408

Anthony the manager says "It's good. People come here cause it's really the last place you can get some food late at night. We got fried chicken, shrimp, conch, things like that. It's good and the kitchen closes when the club closes."

Gold Rush
29 NE 11th St, Miami 305-358-9848

An unnamed source from the corporate office says "Yeah we got a full menu, steaks, chicken sandwiches, salads, daily specials. It's a mix, I mean, we own Pink Pony, King of Diamonds, we're Galardi South Entertainment, business is good.
Short Order- I heard the only businesses that's recession proof are sex, guns, drugs, and alcohol.
Unnamed Source - I think so.

Pink Pussycat
3900 NW 36th St., Miami 305-633-4000

An unnamed door girl said, "The kitchen is open til 5 am. I like the churrasco. Usually people come to see the girls, but they come to eat the steak and drink the beer too. It's all good."

Centerfolds
19995 S Dixie Hwy., Cutler Bay 305-255-7474

Larry from the club says "We got plenty girls and lots of food. Free lunch every day, 7 days a week, 6 items on the menu. Seriously we got great food and beautiful ladies and we're the busiest club in South Florida. We're not doing anything that special. We got naked girls and free lunch."

Stir Crazy
12425 S Dixie Hwy., Miami 305-235-3717

DJ J Michaels says "Ah man the churrasco steak is off the hook. We got people calling in orders for take out, that's how good the food is. We got burgers, chicken,"

Short Order - So you got bollo con pollo? (bollo is spanish slang for pu!%$y)
DJ J Michaels - I don't speak Spanish. I'm just a white boy. We got stuff here I cant even pronounce. Hold on a second...(he announces the next dancer to get on stage and then gets back on the line)
Short Order - Were you just live on the mic? Cool.
DJ J Michaels - We got all the regular strip club food and more and a surprising Latin spice. We see an eclectic crowd, that's what we call it, eclectic. Blue collar, white collar, mad couples, we're thinking of doing a couples night on Sunday. Friday night we're having our Christmas party. All 40 ladies are gonna be here and we're gonna have FREE food starting at 7:30 p.m. You should come through."
Short Order - Can I take pictures?
DJ J Michaels - Sure, we'll set it up.

-- Jacob Katel

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