Meat Me In Miami

The universe has but a few immutable laws. The sun rises in the east and sets in the west. Gravity does, in fact, suck. Politicians always lie. And a new steakhouse will open somewhere in Miami.

The latest meatery making its debut is 5300 Chop House at The Blue, an upscale golf resort in Doral. Oh, yes, there will be meat. Harris Ranch Black Angus beef, Kurobuta pork, Tanglewood Farms chicken, Oregon spring lamb, a veritable feast of beast. For those of you with less carnivorous cravings there's cedar-roasted Alaskan king salmon with saffron-leek bisque and grilled tuna with ponzu nage (which, if you must ask, is a fancy French word for broth). Entrée prices run from $25 to $45, and if you want sides, they're $6 extra.

Doing the cheffing duties is John Wahler, who comes from Jean-George Vongerichten's Spice Market in NYC and Nobu's in Los Angeles and South Beach but probably more important to celebrity-obsessed local consumers of food porn, a stint on Gordon ("Wake up, move your ass or piss off home") Ramsey's Hell's Kitchen.

Yes, chef. I'm moving, I'm moving. . .