Random Survey: What's the Cheapest Thing On The Menu in Miami Restaurants? Now With Stupid Questions

Categories: Making The Call
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image via SqueakyMarmot's flickr
If you've never visited our restaurant database we have hundreds and hundreds of listings with addresses, telephone numbers, websites and other info for restaurants all over Dade County.

From time to time Short Order uses that information to conduct random surveys. We recently asked a few joints about the cheapest things on their menu. Read on to find out about one wing chickens, ordering half a ravioli and the cheapest restaurant item we found in Miami.

Essensia
3025 Collins Ave
(The Palms Hotel & Spa)
Miami Beach, FL 33139
305-534-0505
http://www.thepalmshotel.com/

NT: What's the cheapest thing on the menu?
E: You just go down stairs and I'll explain you.
NT: No, I'm not staying at the hotel, but I'd still like to know.
E: We have a salmon, shrimp and scallop ceviche, It's $15.
NT: That's the cheapest? What's in it?
E: I have to see the dish. Better you talk to the server, they explain you better.
E2: That's not the cheapest. We have margherita pizza, buffalo wings, and a spring beet and Florida orange salad for $9. The cheapest on the menu is a $4 flatbread. It comes with a mayonnaise of red peppers and baby arugula and goat cheese.
NT: Sounds good. What about you knock off the goat cheese and I pay half price?
E2: On Thursdays from 6 to 9 p.m it's half off.  I don't set the price.

Emeril's Miami Beach
1601 Collins Avenue
(in the Loews Hotel)
Miami Beach, FL 33139
305-695-4550
http://www.emerils.com/

NT: What's the cheapest thing on menu?
EM:The ravioli is $24.
NT: Damn. How many raviolis do you get for that.
EM: 3 large ravioli.
NT: How bout for just one ravioli?
EM: We have 1 ravioli for $8.
NT: Can I get a half a ravioli for $4?
EM: Not that particular item no. I don't think it would look very pretty in a half portion.
NT: What? Your food is ugly on the inside or somethin'? What's in it?
EM: Spinach and ricotta. It's not ugly. It's gonna run all over the place, it wont stay inside like all nice. It just won't look as pretty is all. It comes with a tomato and sweet corn sauce.
NT: If you knock off the sauce can I get it for $6.50?
EM: No.
NT: What else you got?
EM: Chicken is at $26.
NT: Does it dance?
EM: Excuse me?
NT: If imma pay $26 for a chicken, it better dance for me.
EM: It's dead. I don't think it will dance for you. It's a chicken breast, it comes with okra polenta, and collard greens.
NT: What about some mac and cheese?
EM: A side of mac and cheese is $8. The rest of our sides are $6. We have mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, and creamed spinach.
NT: What about I get a half a mash, a half a mac, a half a ravioli and a quarter chicken, how much for that?
EM: I'd have to ask the chef, Brandon Benack. I think he would sell you one ravioli, but we don't sell half sides, we just sell full portions.


Titanic Brewery and Restaurant
5813 Ponce de Leon Blvd
Coral Gables, FL 33146
305-668-1742
http://www.titanicbrewery.com/

NT: Is this Kevin, the owner?
T: Yes.
NT: I used to be a dishwasher over there, you remember me?
T: Jake, hmmm, when, what's your last name, I kinda remember yeah. I'm sorry it's been a while I....
NT: What's the cheapest thing on your menu?
T: The cheapest of all, that would be like a little salad. It's just like a small side salad. Something you're gonna eat as a meal? The cheapest thing, is a veggie burger it's $5.95. It's called a Gordon Burger it comes with lettuce, tomato, onion, on a fresh baked onion roll with fries or salad.
NT: Is it true that every time you order a veggie burger a cow claps its hands?
T: Well, it claps its paws. Not its paws, its hoofs.
NT: What's the cheapest drink?
T: On Monday and Wednesday we got 2 buck triple screws, that's a 16 oz pint.
NT: What's a triple screw, you make it in house?
T: Yes we do. It's designed after a German beer called Kolsch. It's a German beer from Cologne, Germany. Coral gables water. We're cheap, we're inexpensive we're a budget driven place.


Canton of 8th Street
921 SW 87th Ave
(The Portofino Shopping Center)
Miami, FL 33174
305-266-5966

NT: What's the cheapest thing on the menu?
C8: Umm I don't know. You gotta look at the menu.
NT: Yeah. I don't have one. How bout you tell me.
C8: Soda, 85 cents.
NT: What about a fortune cookie.
C8: Comes free if you buy food.
NT: What's the cheapest food?
C8: Eggroll. That's a dollar 25.
NT: How many eggs are in it?
C8: Nah, there's no eggs.
NT: No, but on the inside, how many eggs do you put in there?
C8: There's no eggs. We don't put nothin in em. They're already made.
NT: You don't make em there yourself?
C8: Nah, it comes from the company.
NT: What's the cheapest chicken?
C8: Chicken? Umm...I'm not sure. You have to look at the menu. There's quite a few that's the same price. Like $4.25.
NT: How much for one chicken foot?
C8: We don't have chicken foot.
NT: What about chicken wings.
C8: Chicken wings? It's 8 for $4.25.
NT: What about how much for just one wing?
C8: Nah, we don't sell one wing.
NT: What about if the chicken only has one wing, like if it's at the factory just born with one wing? How do you sell those?
C8: I don't get what you're saying. We have $4.85 combos, there's about like thirty items you can choose from. It's pretty good.

Arbetter Hot Dogs
8747 Bird Rd
Miami, FL 33165
305-207-0555

NT: What's the cheapest thing on the menu?
AB: Regular hot dog. $2.04.
NT: What about a regular hot dog, no bun?
AB: That's a dollar plus tax, so a dollar 7.
NT: What else you got?
AB: Hot dog with everything costs $3.05
NT: What about two everything hot dogs without the bread?
AB: No one's ever ordered that.
NT: What about fries?
AB: French fries are $2.04. We also have cheese fries and chili cheese fries.
NT: What about a chili cheese fries, hold the cheese?
AB: Chili fry is $3.19
NT: Why do the fries cost more than the dogs?
AB: They're good French fries. Our food's good. I'm a little tired of it. I been here for a long time, I been here 8 years, but it's good it's not like McDonalds or Burger King. 


Winn-Dixie
6770 SW 40th St, Miami
(305) 661-1863
winndixiegrocerystores.com

NT: How much for an 8 pack of hot dogs?
WD: We've got Yurik Jumbo Meat Franks buy one get one free for $2.99.

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