Archive Diver - Fairmont Gardens Bar & Grille Lame Concept 1988

image via Miami New Times Archives week of August 17 - 23, 1988

Crapmont Advert 1988

​So a Long Island dentist and his wife decide to embark on the adventure of a life time, leave New York and open a restaurant on Miami Beach, "Right on Collins Avenue sweetheart!" Maybe that's how the Fairmont Gardens Bar & Grille came into existence. Here's our idea of how it all went down.

The Bagelbergs thought, "But what will we call it? It's gotta sound rich, like White people rich. Fairmont, that's it! But it still has to appeal to the commoners. Let's see, Fairmont Subway, no, Fairmont Tavern, no, how about Gardens.....Bar & Grill, wait add an "e" to the end of Grille, there, perfect, casual yet elegant. We'll call lunch "luncheon," we won't put the address on our New Times ad, and we'll find some illegals to do our valet parking."

And for the next year the Fairmont Gardens Bar & Grille operated at zero profit, the booze all got stolen by a young staff high on cocaine, the owners got into dog racing and group sex, and finally a mysterious fire consumed the building and the Bagelbergs moved to Boca, at least that's what we think might've happened.

Anybody know anything about how it really went down? Leave a comment.