Friday Food Funnies: Calvin Trillin On A Chinese Dinner In Hell
Here he bemoans the democratic means of ordering food in Chinese restaurants, where each person at the table gets to pick a dish that everyone else has to share:
In my vision of purgatory, the Devil tells me that I am about to eat eternally in the best Chinese restaurant that has ever existed -- with, of course, a couple of qualifications. My dining partners will be seven of those basebal players who always used to be described in the sports magazines as "strictly meat-and-potatoes men." They will do all the ordering for the table. I will not be allowed to indicate my preferences by word or gesture. "Maybe we should have some of that chop-suey stuff," one of them says, as I see an entire carp being carried by, floating in a sauce whose aroma alone makes me weak.
"That stuff's too gooey," a large first baseman says. "You think they have any plain chicken?"