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Top Ten Hurricane Foods You Need When The Storm Hits

Hurricane_Andrewsatellite.jpg
via Wikimedia Commons
Hurricane Andrew bout to fuck shit up.
Back in 92' I spent the duration of Hurricane Andrew laying on a blanket in a hallway with the family dog Harry and a skateboard Pro Tec helmet on my head. I was 10. Three weeks later when South Miami got power back our fridge stopped being that useless box in the kitchen. Here are the top ten food and drink items you should have when the next storm hits. These are for during the storm and for the month it takes FPL to get your power cut back on.

10. Jerky - Dehydrated meat (or whatever vegetarian version there is of it) hearkens back to the days before refrigeration. It was good enough for the Indians, good enough for the pilgrims, good enough for a trans Atlantic voyage, and it'll be good enough for you. You can add jerky to almost anything and make it better, liker canned soups, crackers, or Cheez Whiz. It's expensive in small quantities. Best bet is to find someone who makes it and fill up a couple gallon bags of it.

9. Beer and liquor. It won't help your judgement, or motor skills, but it'll probably help if you're stressed out, and even if you don't drink you can trade booze to your neighbors for almost anything when the power's out and stores are closed.

8. Canned Foods: Whether you're into sardines or pork'n'beans, green beans, or corn and peas, smoked oysters, caviar, beef stew, Chef Boyardee, or pineapple chunks, food in a can tastes damn good when you're hungry. Don't forget the can opener.

7. Chips, salsa, nacho cheese, bean dip, sour cream. It'll never really fill you up, but it also takes a while to get sick of. It's also easy and almost everybody likes it.

6. Watermelon: Sounds strange, but hey, there's lots of it, it's delicious, and there's nothing quite like it on a hot day with no gas, phone, electric, car, fan, or generator.

5. Junk - Zebra cakes, nutter bars, sour straws, gummy bears, honey buns, krispy squares,  chocolate bars, sugar ups your energy and provides sweet manufactured goodness for your post storm withdrawals.

4. Salty Snacks - Pretzels, cashews, almonds, sunflower seeds, chex mix, chick peas, these will all give you something to crunch on just to pass the time.

3. Pickled Stuff - Whether they be eggs, sausage, or vegetables, pickled stuff lasts for damn near ever. Pick up a few jars at Costco and see how good they look when you've been eating nachos and zebra cakes for a couple days.

2. Potatoes - They don't need refrigeration. Wrap em in tin foil, throw em in a camp fire, cook em up, add canned chili.

1. Water - Can't live without it. Don't even try.


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