Domo Arigato, Domo

Courtesy of 7-Eleven

What's warm and fuzzy and the color of poo?

​There's nothing that makes me want to buy a Taquito and Big Gulp more than a ferocious-looking piece of fuzzy poo.

Yeah, if only I was being facetious. The truth is, I fell for Domo, the rectangular, brown Japanese creature making his appearance all over 7-Eleven stores until mid-November. And yes, ladies and gents, I fell hard.

There was just something about that little plush guy that made me coo with delight. His snarling face was on toys, t-shirts and coffee cups; his flocked body, dressed up for Halloween in four costumes, clung to hard plastic spoon-straws; and even bottles of Domo Attack! Energy Drink bore his likeness, tempting me to swill citrus-tinged caffeine and taurine until I became more high-strung than Lindsay Lohan at a dry hetero wedding. I was even confronted with Domo and friends at the Slurpee dispenser, where he was represented alongside Fuji Frost, an apple-flavored slush that bears the color of a core sitting out in the sun a wee bit too long.

But when I came home to research my new little love interest, I was surprised to discover that he really hates apples. Hmm. Why would the corporate folks at 7-Eleven be so outright disrespectful of their charming new mascot? And that was only the beginning of the dichotomies.

Courtesy of 7-Eleven

​Wikipedia informed me that Domo 1) is known for passing gas, 2) has an alcoholic friend he pals around with, and 3) appeared in a rampant Internet PSA campaign entitled, "Every Time You Masturbate, God Kills a Kitten."

When I asked Margaret Chabris, director of corporate communications for 7-Eleven, why her company chose this questionable character, her response made me snicker: "He may have some flaws, but he sure is cute!" True that, sister.

She said they ultimately selected Domo because he is a pop-culture character that appeals to the younger crowd, folks aged 16 to 24, who are a key target audience for the brand.

Already mourning the eventual disappearance of my new pal, I had to ask if she thought we would ever see Domo at 7-Eleven again. "If he decides to visit and customers want him back," was her response.

Here's a hint to those who handle marketing for the convenience store that truly does make me thank heaven at least once per month: Stop feeding Domo apples and keep making more crap with his likeness that suckers like me will want to purchase again and again. Either that, or suffer the consequences of a nation of youngsters fashioning their own homemade Domos--if you know what I mean--and placing them throughout your stores. I promise it won't smell like fruit in there for long.