Top 10 Ways To Ruin a Thanksgiving Turkey

One time grandma's dentures got caught in the turkey drumstick she was eating at Thanksgiving dinner. She pointed at me with the drumstick for laughing, the teeth flew off the leg and hit me in the face. I still have the old lady's bite marks on my forehead. She had a hell of an arm. Thanksgiving is still my favorite holiday. Probably because funny disasters always happen. Don't let your turkey be one of them. Here's our top 10 ways to ruin a Thanksgiving turkey.

10. Forget to defrost it before cooking - Start off your day with a couple Bloody Marys and a some beers and it becomes an easy mistake to make. Cook a frozen turkey and you'll eat a frozen center. Remember to defrost your bird.

freezing turkey.jpg
Mashup feat.
Thaw your frozen turkey.
9. Improperly Deep Fry Your Turkey - Like crystal meth, deep fried turkey is delicious, but dangerous to make yourself and can lead to explosions. Don't fall victim to a deep fried turkey, or burn your house down trying to make one.

8. Overstuffing Your Turkey - This one is actually a health threat because an overstuffed turkey can mean undercooked stuffing or an overcooked bird. That can mean dangerous bacteria, cross contamination, and food sick guests from your dirty bird.

That's one overstuffed bird.
7. When you're tukey hunting, miss your kill shot - You can't cook your dinner if you can't kill it. Don't shoot the turkey while it struts, wait till it stops and looks up, give it a good cluck and it will. Aim for the point where the neck meets the breast, and remember that most shotguns shoot high.

Hungry to kill.
6. Carve it while drunk, cut off your finger - Some people eat turkey with their hands, but that doesn't make it finger food, at least not the bloody kind. Many folks enjoy drinking on Thanksgiving, don't ruin the turkey by having a few too many, cutting yourself and bleeding all over the bird. Practice carving safety.


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