Taco Bell 79 Cent Crispy Potato Soft Taco Review

Jacob Katel

The Crispy Potato Soft Taco as eaten on Biscayne Bay.

​We once heard a comedian say all Mexican food was pretty much the same ingredients put together under different names. For example, what are nachos? Umm, beans, cheese, lettuce, tomato, tortillas, meat, salsa. And what are tacos? Umm, beans, cheese, lettuce, tomato, tortillas, meat, salsa. And what are enchiladas, burritos, gorditas, chalupas, taco salad... well you get the idea.

So when we rolled up on the Taco Bell drive-thru and saw the 79-cent Crispy Potato Soft Taco, we decided to try it.

Taco Bell's Crispy Potato Burrito is described on the chain's website as "a soft flour tortilla filled with cripsy potato bites, pepper Jack sauce, shredded lettuce, and cheddar cheese." Actually, it says, "real cheddar cheese," like we should be thanking Taco Bell for putting a real piece of food in there. On a side note, what if "real cheddar cheese" is just a trademarked term for some kind of lab-made approximation of a foodstuff formerly known as cheese that we've been corporately brainwashed out of knowing the taste of. Support your local cheesers.

Back to the Crispy Potato Soft Taco.

The bite-to-potato ratio is well measured, the sauce is there in that leak-out-the-other-side-of-the-taco-till-the-last-bite kind of way, the cheese fits right in, and the lettuce kind of greens it up with some produce snap on the back end.

Millions of dollars probably went into research and development to formulate this simple taco for mass appeal. It works. It's pretty good. I ate some other Taco Bell stuff too and had the shits later.