Top 10 Foods Charlie Sheen Can't Get in Jail, If He Goes

Categories: Obscurity
We're no judge or jury, but we're guessing Charlie Sheen is headed for the slammer. All the celebrities are doing it. Serving a year is the new having a college degree.

Did you know that back in 1990 Charlie Sheen shot his then-fiancee in the arm, accidentally?

If his newest arrest results in jail time we're guessing these are the top ten foods Charlie Sheen might miss most illustrated by photo parodies via Charlie Sheen's mugshot and the creative commons.

10. Pizza Delivery
Bro, awesome fuckin pizza dude.

Not even Charlie Sheen can get a pizza delivered to a jail cell.

9. Burgers with friends
Totally killer burger.
Eating burgers with your friends just isn't the same when there's only one place to get em', and you're not allowed to leave.

8. Making Sushi
Who wants a roll?
In jail terms, "fresh fish" has a different meaning than at the sushi bar. The only seafood they've got in the joint is 'ya see food, ya eat it.'

7.   BBQ
Sometimes I dress like a homeless grandpa and cook in the back alley.
As far as we know, jailhouse bbq's don't exist.

6. Fried Fish Soup
Hey, I love fried fish soup.
If the jailhouse cafeteria is your neighborhood eatery, don't expect to run into any new ones while you're out for lunch.

5. English Muffin
Sure, you may be able to legally buy one of these in jail, but where would you rather eat one?

4. Cereal for Breakfast
cerealsheen.jpg">CC BY 2.0
Cereal good.

If Charlie Sheen has any special cereals he likes he probably won't be able to get them in jail.

3. Ice Cream
Who screams for ice cream?
Would an incarcerated Charlie Sheen be able to roll out of his jailhouse bunk at 3 in the morning, head for the freezer and eat a half a case of cookie dough ice cream?

2. Guinea Pig
I used to have one of these as a pet
Hey, Peru has been pushing Guinea Pig as a food source outside of South America since the 60's.

1. Waffles

We come to you from the planet waffletron.

That's right. Waffles.

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