Top 10 Hypothetical South Beach Wine & Food Fest Media Disasters
|Ze paparazzi will be out in force.|
With that in mind, here's our Top 10 list of hypothetical disasters that could mar the otherwise wholesome and spotless public images of your favorite TV food personalities. This is a parody.
10. Paula Deen and Guy Fieri Make a Sex Tape
9. The Neelys' Drunken Quarrel on Ocean Drive
Later, they're crossing Ocean Drive to get to the beach and he snags her phone, checks the outgoing text messages, and sees something about a slice of that sweet potato pie.
The Neelys go off on each other in our beautiful Miami light that cameras love as a crowd of tourists gathers to post it all online in a matter of minutes.
Catch the Neelys live at the Whole Foods Grand Tasting Village.
8. Anthony Bourdain Punches a Cop
He shouldn't have crossed the bridge to Overtown and scored a bag of coke either.
But that doesn't mean he wouldn't hypothetically punch a Miami Beach cop in the nose for not letting him off the hook.
If any of that stuff does happen, he should definitely say, "I'm Anthony Bourdain, bitch! That's how I roll."
7. Rachael Ray Goes Sunbathing Topless
Which isn't to say that Rachael Ray topless-sunbathing pictures would be a disaster. In fact, millions of people would love to see her hoo-hahs.
But if she doesn't wanna get caught in the act, she better have a better plan than a hat over her eyes, because the flash-bulbers will most definitely be on her tail all weekend.
6. Bobby Flay Caught With Booger Flapping in His Nose
Every breath you take sends it flapping in the breeze.
Wouldn't it be hilarious if Bobby Flay had a flapper during a cooking demo and it got caught on camera in high-definition video?
Yes, yes, it would.