Top 10 Worst Fart-Producing Foods

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http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Fart.svg
Farts stink, they certainly do,
the more that you smell em', the worser for you,
the more you release em', the better you feel,
so be sure to fart after every meal.

Here's our Top 10 list of the worst fart producing foods on the planet.





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wikimedia public domain

10. French Food


Sure the French gave us the Statue of Liberty, but that doesn't mean they don't secretly hate America.

All those sauces on the plate may end up sauces in your pants.

Cheesy French onion soup, steak and fries, mushrooms, frog legs, fatty duck, goose liver, butter snails, tripe a la mode...Never take a date to a French restaurant unless they really like your ass.

Literally.









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9. Smoked Oysters In A Can


First of all, these are canned in cottonseed oil, an industrially produced food type product valued for its cheapness that can also be found in mayonnaise and crisco.

In many cases, the oysters are farm raised, which sounds nice, but is ugly when it comes to the amount of oyster shit they're swimming in. Welcome to fart city.

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8. Collard Greens With Ham Hocks and Bacon

This one is delicious, but deadly. Collards are a bitter, fiber-intense super green that have a very distinkt smell when you cook them.

Add on some fatty meats and you've got the recipe for building your own fartopolis.





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7. Biscuits and Gravy

Some say that gravy originated in ancient Egypt. What do you think Tut's revenge was when they opened his tomb? A 3,000 year old fart.

Gravy is something like a thickened, semi-liquid version of everything that causes farts in the first place, concentrated, and lumpy.

Sop it up.



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6. Brazilian Rodizio or Churrascaria

These all you can eat meat fests include items like steak wrapped in bacon, turkey wrapped in bacon, and maybe even bacon wrapped in bacon.

Servers magically appear tableside whenever you run out of food and restock your plate. They cut the meat directly off a giant skewer.

Eating more than your fill is encouraged and sides like salad, rice and beans, pineapple, and cooked bananas keep everything moving.

On the way home, drive with the windows down. The burps and farts from a night out like this may be with you for days.









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1 comments
stellabystarlite
stellabystarlite

With most of these foods, farting would be the least of your worries. "Never trust a fart."

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