Top 10 Fried Junk Foods

Sugary junk food is the second greatest source of pleasure known to mankind. The rush of sugar and calories is nearly unbeatable. So how to go it one better? Batter it and and put it in a deep fryer. These are Short Order's wicked favorites

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Photo: Jason Arnold

10. Candy Corn

Candy corn might not sound like an obvious choice, but don't knock it until you've fried it. Anything made from corn syrup, sugar and honey has to taste good, but like everything else on this list, it tastes a whole lot better when fried. The confectionary treat liquefies, so you need to wait a minute or two to eat it after frying it. It is well worth the wait.

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Photo: Jason Arnold

 9. Granola Bar

Though granola bars are often thought of as a healthy snack, most are made with chocolate and processed peanut butter or some other ingredient to make the oats taste good. The bad news is that granola bars usually aren't healthy and are more like glorified candy bars. The good news is they taste even better when they are battered and fried.

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Photo: Jason Arnold


8. Devil Dogs

The cream-filled devil food's cake becomes heaven on a plate when battered and fried.  You will want to savor every fried chocolate bite of this artery-clogging delight.

Photo: Jason Arnold


7. Oreos

The snack that launched the trans fat debate was destined to appear on this list. There are a million ways to eat an Oreo, but  battered and deep fried, they can be a perfect mix of texture, sweet and fat.

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Photo: Jason Arnold


6. Lucky Charms

Marketing gurus have tricked us all into believing that sugar-filled cereals are part of a balanced breakfast. Lucky Charms really only fulfill this role if you add fruit, whole grain toast that tastes like cardboard and some freshly squeezed orange juice. But what fun is balance? Instead, why not just cut out the good stuff and fry the bad. This can be a balanced part of your late night cravings. The marshmallow charms melt so they no longer resemble the fun shapes, but look more like artificial color blobs. It tastes even better than it looks!

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Photo: Jason Arnold



5. Cookie Dough

Cookie dough is one of the most versatile junks foods in the world. It tastes amazing when baked to produce cookies, frozen in ice cream or fried in batter. Three great uses deserve three cheers for cookie dough. When battered and fried, the crispy coating is a perfect complement to the warm and soft center. Every morsel is worth the calories. Because more calories inevitably mean more taste.

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Photo: Jason Arnold


4. Milk Duds

Fried Milk Duds are like bite-size fried candy bars and we all know that you can't go wrong with fried candy bars. The caramel filling of the milk duds melts when fried, but becomes more   viscous as it cools down. They are chewy, ooey, gooey and divine!

Photo: Jason Arnold

3. Twinkie

The yellow sponge cake is so highly processed that the original ingredients used to make the spongy coating are virtually unrecognizable. The smooth and creamy center is always a welcome treat. Urban legend says Twinkies have a shelf life of forever, which makes them the perfect food for a doomsday scenario. Nobody ever said Twinkies were good for you, but they sure are good. The deep-fried version is even better.

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Photo: Jason Arnold


2. Double Fried Donut

Donuts are already fried and delicious. The only thing that could possibly make them even moreso is to batter the donuts and fry them again. Double the fat means double the pleasure.

Photo: Jason Arnold


1. Candy Bars

Frying candy bars became a worldwide phenomenon when someone with a fryer, some batter and a lot of time on their hands pioneered the favorite fair food. After biting through the sweet battered coating and reaching the candy bar, you will find the chocolate coating and all the fillings of the candy bar are infused with extra grease and extra goodness.

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Photo: Jason Arnold

Fried soda gets an honorable mention. How do you fry a liquid. Mix soda with batter. The result is soda flavored batter, which can be sprinkled with powdered sugar or coated in chocolate syrup.  It isn't the best fried concoction, but it also isn't the worst.

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Photo: Jason Arnold

Some fried junk food is only good in theory, like bubblegum. It was worth a try, but bubblegum did not make the top 10 list of fried foods.  Batter does not mix well with bubblegum because you end up chewing on a bready substance that honestly just doesn't taste very good. Another disadvantage of fried bubblegum is that it melts when fried, so the liquid substance is not something you can actually chew. Although we put in a valiant effort trying to come up with a new trend, you probably won't be seeing fried bubblegum at a county fair anytime soon. 

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