Derriere Hair Pies and Marc Sarnoff Spies: The SandBar Grill Rules!

'Turd' and Vinnie flanked by SandBar staff

SandBar Grill will always be the heart of the Grove's Bermuda triangle of college bars (on the same block as the Tavern and Barracuda). Spend an early evening with regulars "Turd" Ferguson and Vinnie and your cup will runneth over with tales of sordid fun. Just don't overstay your welcome by asking too many questions, lest you be accused of being a spy for Miami Commissioner Marc Sarnoff--of the "let's save the Grove by making bars close early and killing its soul" infamy.

There's the time a sloshed regular swung on and unhinged the horizontal stripper pole atop the bar--a Sandbar original--falling on his hind parts in a male version of Coyote Very Ugly.

Or there's the time after losing a football bet that a patron agreed to streak around the triangle. His dash landed him in the middle of a packed Sandbar on Penny Beer night, where he did a naked bump and grind slowly snaking his way through hundreds of disgusted, yet delighted, students.

And finally, the now defunct, and sorely missed, weekly White Trash Bash: The highlight was a shaving ritual involving a particularly hairy bartender. When we say hairy, we mean hairy hindquarters.. And when we say shaving ritual, we mean that clippers were used to shave those hindquarters. Wait, it gets worse. Said clippings were sprinkled equally on two whipped crème pies. And? You guessed it. Two inebriated college students would partake of the ass-hair pies; the first finisher won...(it gets worse) a measly $20 bar tab.

And to add insult to the already bad taste in the winner's mouth, the tab could only be used during Happy Hour. You'd think he could at least have until midnight, if only to get the taste of rump out of his mouth.