Evos Fast Food Might as Well Be Delivered by a Unicorn

Evos's trademarked Airfries, fresh from the air.

​Evos, a new health-conscious eatery in Pinecrest that totes the cutesy slogan "Feel Great Fast Food," has the charm of a Starbucks. Complete with décor that can only be described as "generic coffeehouse corporate chic," it boasts a loop of effervescent-sounding indie music that makes you feel like your order will be delivered via unicorn.

In theory, a fast-food restaurant that serves piping-hot Americana (cheeseburgers, milkshakes, fries, and hot dogs) with a fraction of the caloric intake of its fatty cousins, sounds too good to be true. And, sadly, in regard to this particular establishment, it is.

During my visit, I tried the Evos Original Double Steakburger and the Chopped Steak Taco Wrap, both made with "naturally and humanely raised beef" free of "hormones and antibiotics," according to the Evos website. They came with a side of trademarked Airfries (which aren't deep-fried, but baked in an "air oven" -- a kitchen device I like to assume floats in the air) and a choice of milkshake or fountain drink. Purely for review purposes, I wanted to sample a chocolate or a mango/guava shake (made with low-fat organic milk), but when I requested one, the girl taking my order slightly scoffed. She then turned to a co-worker and listlessly asked him: "Aren't we out of those flavors?" He confirmed. Then, instead of letting me know which flavors were available, she rattled on and on about her plans for the weekend, fulfilling her role as an apathetic teen who's SO OVER a job at an eatery that's been open only a handful of weeks.

Not to completely knock the staff at this place -- some employees were helpful and friendly; one even offered to clean my sticky booth because she had "nothing better to do" -- but in the half-hour I spent here, I overheard a manager's cheesy, team-building, motivational type of speech and a brief spat between employees about whose turn it was to refill the soda fountain with ice (apparently, it was no one's, because it never got filled while I was there).

The food is OK. Not great, not horrible. Wrapped in paper and secured with an oh-so-adorable sticker, the steak in both the burger and the wrap was dry. And it had a slight Boca Burger aftertaste, which to someone engaged in a granola lifestyle can be reassuring, but to the average fast foodie or burger connoisseur, it leaves a sense that somehow, some way, you're being gypped.

Other components of the sandwhich were solid, though. And the Airfries were delightfully grease-free, which enhanced the natural flavor of the potato.

All in all, "Feel Great Fast Food" rings true for this culinary newcomer. But "Taste Great Fast Food"? Well, that's a unicorn of a completely different color.