From Cotton Candy to Bacon: Top Ten Weirdest Vodka Flavors UPDATED
|Whipped Cream vodka makes our "honorable mention" list.|
Just because you can infuse a vodka with a fruit or candy or meat product, doesn't make it right...or does it?
Here's our list of the ten weirdest vodka flavors. We're still waiting for the shrimp and foie gras ones.
10. Cotton Candy: Wildly inappropriate, this sugary vodka actually tastes like cotton candy. We're not sure what adults (or kids) actually like cotton candy outside of a circus. If this is the first in a line of theme-park flavored alcoholic beverages, we can't wait until the giant turkey leg-flavored gin is released.
9. Cucumber: Cucumber-flavored vodka seems like a slippery slope. Just like those cookbooks where parents are shown how to hide vegetables in cakes, we have a feeling that the healthy-food police are trying to find a way to hide vegetables in our cocktails. Cucumbers today...Brussels sprouts tomorrow. Blech.
8. Bloody Mary: Unless you're a really good bartender, the average person uses two ingredients in a Bloody Mary - Bloody Mary mix and vodka. That being the case, using Bloody Mary flavored vodka is either completely redundant or makes you the laziest f**k in the world.
7. Peanut Butter: To us, it's just another freaking lousy product that everyone with peanut allergies has to avoid. Can you imagine someone going into anaphylactic shock after sipping a martini at the office cocktail party? Besides, after mixing it with grape soda (hey! it tastes just like a PB&J), what the hell else do you do with it?
Update: we received an email from Rich Hellner, owner of Pandora Spirits and makers of NutLiquor Peanut Butter Vodka stating "NutLiquor contains NO peanut allergens. We're very conscious of allergy issues and took a lot of time and money to develop an allergen-free product. Federal law prohibits us from labeling the bottle "No Peanut Allergens", but we publicize it quite openly." That's good news for the peanut-allergy stricken who miss the taste of nutty goodness.
6. Bubblegum: Quick! What comes to mind when you think of bubblegum? Little girls with pigtails? Yup, us too. Which is why bubblegum-flavored vodka is so wrong. The liquor companies constantly tell us that they're not trying to market to kids and hen they make bubblegum vodka. Next think you know, they'll make Hello Kitty vodka.
6(a). Hello Kitty: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!