Pothead Gummy Candy and Ring Pops: Pot-Shaped Candy is Awesome

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The Pennsylvania-based company Kalan LP, a distributor of novelty items like inflatable beer pong games and shot glasses that say "You must be Irish because my penis is Dublin," is now distributing a line of marijuana-shaped candies, and it's blowing up a storm among the right. Which got me thinking that this isn't the first time we see candy smokes.

When I was a kid there was probably the last penny candy store about three blocks from our elementary school. Every day at lunchtime, we would go and get our daily sugar fix -- JujuBees, licorice, Pop Rocks, and Bit-O-Honey were all popular, but the candy that was most coveted were the candy cigarettes and bubble gum cigars.

The bubble gum cigars came in pink, yellow and green and had little owls on the cigar bands, which were a bonus -- after the gum was done, you could wear the little paper band like a ring.

The cigarettes came in packs like the real thing and were available in two kinds -- little hard sugary ones that no kid liked and the gum kind which had a little bit of powdered sugar on the tip. That powdered sugar allowed you to blow out "smoke". Yes, we pretended that we were smoking cigarettes and cigars.

We also had little bottles of syrup for sale that looked surprisingly like the bottles of Absolut you get on an airplane. And candy pills in little fake prescription bottles.

These candies are long gone from the market, banned by militant mom groups and religious organizations who probably feared that by eating candy fakes, we would turn into little cigarette smoking degenerates.

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Kalan LP
Pothead Candy: is it soooo scary?
The new marijuana-shaped candies on Kalan LP's wholesale site are available in Potheads Sour Gummies ($2 per bag), Pothead Lollipops ($1 each), and Pothead Ring Pops ($1.50 each). They are all sour apple flavored, by the way (not pot flavored). The candy is clearly designed to be sold in novelty stores like Spencer Gifts and not the corner candy store (if any still exist).

You'll probably find them on a shelf next to the penis candy pops and boob pasta that sell as novelties, not at the checkout aisle at Publix. That doesn't stop militant moms and over-zealous politicians from rushing to boycott the products. Fox News has reported that the city of Buffalo is particularly up in arms over the candy.

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Kalan LP
Pot Pop: Frat boy gift or gateway drug?
Andrew Kalan, president of Kalan LP, said he was surprised that there's so much buzz about the candy, which has been on the market since January, 2011. 

He told me that, while he couldn't divulge what stores sell the pot-shaped sweets, the candies were marketed as novelty items.

"Toys R Us isn't beating down our doors to order these," he said.

Kalan, a father of three children, said his kids have seen the candy and he's actually used it as an opportunity to start a dialogue about drugs.

When asked what he felt about the reaction to the candy, Kalan said, "My take on it is that it's a gag, it's a joke and there are a lot more pressing issues that are affecting kids today".

And even if they were sold at, say, Publix -- is this really the worst thing that moms have to worry about? Why the hell is everyone so uptight, anyway?  There was a story in the news a few months ago that had Katie Holmes defending her parenting skills because daughter Suri picked up a box of gummy penis candies at New York's Serendipity 3. Ben & Jerry's was recently under fire for marketing Schweddy Balls ice cream.

I'm not sure just when everyone lost their sense of humor and got so worried about kids. We basically used to swing from metal bars onto concrete surfaces, eat red dye number two, and chew on fake tobacco products -- and most of us survived to become fine, upstanding citizens.

In my opinion, the only consequence that happens after consuming pot shaped candy is an extreme need to see the dentist.

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8 comments
Donald Sutherland
Donald Sutherland

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Lhanna418
Lhanna418

actually, i was surprised but the hard sugary candy cigarettes are still being made and distributed.  I found them in a store in alfred maine.

MakeEverythingIllegal
MakeEverythingIllegal

yea just like candy ciggarrettes.You know that candy thats depicting a dangerous drug , the one that causes the MOST deaths per year. But see as parents we dont go all up and arms about that stuff, why well because were too illogical and hypocritical and we are too busy protecting the future of humanity from a nontoxic weed.  Somehow the fuckin hemp set us up with all these gifts to help us through world war 1 and all but now its trying to kill are children. Plus as a husband i like to go hiking with my wife and kids and catch poison ivy rashes.  And then on other days i like to get all drunk and beat my wife while my kids whimper silently scared in their beds...wondering if they will see there mother alive in the morning. So yea why would i boycott ciggarettes from my kids? There not a drug moron, weed is a drug and it kills brain cells. Pus my kids are smart enough not to smoke cigarettes....thats my story and im stickin to it god bless america 

Brinxster
Brinxster

You can't get this kind of stuff at Wal-Mart, don't worry kids will never have easy access to this candy, it's easier for them to get real weed than this candy since this candy is mostly sold at head shops that card everyone... but don't worry, drug dealers won't card your kid for the real thing. Thank goodness cannabis is illegal and free to everyone on the black market... we don't need weed regulated and controlled like Wine, that would keep it out of kids hands.

Sorry, trying to think like a Republican... this darn logic keeps ruining it for me.

Dillon-jones
Dillon-jones

i think its awesome and funny and i dont even smoke weed .... legalize smoking (:

Casturdreams
Casturdreams

These holier than thou Mom groups are trying to sanitize our nation into a one size fits all wasteland. The result will be adults with zero toleration for diversity. Kinda sounds like a perfect nation that Hitler tried to produce.

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