The McRib Is Back: My Chihuahua Is McLovin' It

​McDonald's announced it was re-releasing it's mystery-meat sandwich the McRib at all of its stores through November 14.

Immediately, people went wild on Twitter to comment on the sandwich that causes such a devoted frenzy whenever the fast-food giant takes the pork-like sammy out for a spin. In fact, #McRib is the hottest topic trending on Twitter. And some of the tweets are simply poetic, such as:

@JamesARComedy The #McRib.. That's exactly what we all need... Squirrel meat, bbq sauce, onions & pickle on bread.

@BestBuffyQuotes I love how #McRib is trending and all the tweets about it that I've seen are bashing it. #McWin

@Carlitosway247 #McRib?? More like #McSquirrel.

All photos by Laine Doss

The McRib, a bilingual disaster

​@GeoffersonSpin The #McRib only comes out once a year because that's how long it takes to grow more of them in the lab.

@GreenBenchTV The Illuminati uses the McRib to raise money to assassinate political figures. It's their version of the girl scout cookie...

@TheTweetofGod In the beginning I created McEve by removing a McRib from McAdam

@rainnwilson @McRib is people! @McDonalds McRib is PEEE-PULLLL!

Wow! All that got me jonesing for a McRib, so I drove my trusty little P.T. Cruiser to the local McDonald's. I purchased a McRib ($2.69) and headed home.

As I got out of my car, a small lizard jumped onto my arm, crawled into my hair, and then scurried down to the McDonald's bag. I brushed the lizard off and thought little of it. Until I walked through the door to be practically mugged by my dogs.

The box - complete with romance novel.

​Yes, I bring home lots of goodies: left-over steaks, burgers, chicken. It's an occupational hazard. Sometimes after a few hours in a restaurant kitchen, I smell like a hunk of meat. The dogs are used to it. Not today. This time they were going nuts! Jumping straight into the air, crying, running in circles. It was the sandwich.

I took the McRib box out of the bag. On the side was the McDonald's equivalent of a love poem: "It's the telltale sign of that tangy barbeque sauce that's left its mark on your lips. The fact that the tender boneless pork is smothered in it means there's no way of getting away with this love affair."

Hmm, sounds like an illicit affair with meat of dubious origins. I'll admit the aroma was good. Then I opened the box. 

The McRib - sort of McSad..

​

A flat, graceless piece of beige meat rested on a long white roll, formed into what might be deemed a rack of ribs -- if you were a colony of aliens watching a video about barbecue from about 50,000 light years away. There was but a smattering of barbecue sauce, some raw onion, and a couple of pickle slices. 

I picked it up and tried it. The sandwich resembled barbecued pork like Spam resembles Angus certified beef -- it simply doesn't.

I took another bite and tasted the sauce -- bland, salty, and mildly tangy. The same sauce that you get with McNuggets, I assume. Nothing there, either. But there were others in the room that wanted to perform their own taste test.

Because I was done with my valiant attempt at trying the McRib, I looked down at the writhing balls of fur in my kitchen. My dogs had worked themselves into a frenzy over what must be the most beautiful scent in all creation (to them). I gave a bite to my Chihuahua, Molly. I've seen sharks with better manners. My two other dogs had the same reaction. This was truly the best thing they've tasted in a long time.

Maybe not the target market, but a big fan nevertheless.

​As I write this, the dogs are curled up in a ball. Molly is snoring contentedly. So maybe McDonald's is onto something after all. The McRib can be the first trans-species fast food. Perfect for both man and dog. Woof!

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