Republican Candidates Eats: Romney Removes Chicken Skin, Perry Calls BBQ Roadkill

Categories: Musings
Perry prefers corn dogs to road kill.
Rick Perry
Food: Perry's most controversial comment on food came in 1992, when the pre-governor politician ate some Eastern North Carolina barbecue. "I've had road kill that tasted better than that," said Perry, evidently ignoring the longstanding political etiquette of always complimenting the chow.

And the comment has come back to haunt him, as evidenced by a recent essay in the Charlotte Examiner titled "Rick Perry's NC BBQ 'Road Kill' Comment Makes Him Ineligible to Be President." The author of the piece, Jeffrey Weeks, takes issue with the very notion of Texas barbecue brisket: "You make steaks out of cows. Read my lips, BBQ comes from a gosh-darned pig."

The Borowitz Report spoofs the Governor with the headline: "FDA Declares Rick Perry A Vegetable; Texas Governor Approved for School Lunches." It satirically adds the quote: "As a vegetable, I am honored to join the other three food groups," said Gov. Perry. "Meat, dairy, and...nope, can't do it. Oops."

Food politics: Perry is the only candidate to have grown up on a farm, and has been a strong supporter of farmers. As Agriculture Commissioner, Perry promoted the sale of Texas farm produce to other states and foreign nations. He doesn't have much to say about nutrition policy.

Newt goes off diet with Moose Tracks ice cram at Elly's Tea and Coffee House in Muscatine, Iowa
Newt Gingrich
Food: Newt recently presided over a South Carolina GOP barbecue fundraising event, but didn't touch the food. "I should lose weight," Newt admitted. "Everybody who tells me I should lose weight, they are all correct. I just find it really hard to lose weight." Now there's an issue millions of Americans can relate to.

Food politics:
Newt is the by far the best of the bunch concerning the improvement of America's health and eating habits. "The soft drink companies should be challenged to produce healthy alternatives or to expect to have reduced access to young people as a market," he says. Gingrich is also in favor of kids working out. "I believe we ought to have mandatory K through 12, five-day-a-week physical education." He's been touting this particular idea since 2006.

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Mitt gets down with a fried pork chop in Iowa.
Mitt Romney
Foods: Mitt is the only candidate to have held a contest that allowed one winner to share lunch with him. "Grab A Bite with Mitt" it was called, and the winner was Soren Dorius, a law student from Toledo, Ohio. Dorius flew to Boston and then met up with Mittens and his wife at Dos Amigos restaurant in New Hampshire, where the contest winner got to chow down on a pork burrito along with the multi-millionaire.

"Surprisingly delicious and tasty," said Romney. "And I got the medium heat. Wonderful. Pretty darn good."

"I'm a very lucky man," said Dorius afterward. Wonder how lucky he'd feel if after all that travel he actually got to eat a full meal.

According to a Politico e-book, "Usually, Romney dines on turkey breast, rice, and broccoli, chased by water or maybe a Diet Coke. In South Carolina, for a big treat, he might visit a Bojangles' for the fried chicken. Romney relished KFC, but pulled off the skin...If he has a slice of pizza, he pulls the cheese off the top."

You'd think with eating habits such as these, Romney would withhold ridicule of others. But no, he's running for President, so he has to mock Michelle Obama for her stance on healthful eating. Making fun of President Obama's move towards securing the centrist, blue collar vote, Mitt sneered, "He sounded like he was going to dig up the first lady's organic garden to put in a Bob's Big Boy." He also equated Obama's economic plans to Marie Antoinette's line Let them eat cake.

"I'm sorry," he added in correction, "Organic cake."

Food politics: Romney describes himself as "vigilant about nutrition" but has made no statements nor introduced any policy in regards to improving national food or nutrition programs.

Rick Santorum
Foods: Not much info is available on Santorum's eating habits, other than the photo of a rather phallic-looking ice cream cone inserted into his mouth. He must like chicken with mayonnaise too, because Pizza Ranch in Iowa named a chicken salad after him.

Food politics: "If hunger is a problem in America," said compassionate Rick while campaigning in Iowa, "then why do we have an obesity problem among the people who we say have a hunger problem?" Sounds scary, but if Santorum ever became president, his views on hunger would be the least of our worries.

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