Jessica Simpson's Slutty Brownies: Try Fat Bastards, Dirty Olives and Filthy Pickles!

Categories: Confessions
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Remember Nick and Jessica on MTV's Newlyweds? There were Jessica's questions such as, "Is this chicken, what I have or is it tuna?" referring to the label on a tuna can that read "Chicken of the Sea" or when she asked whether Buffalo wings were really wings from the buffalo? The show ended after four seasons, a People's Choice Award and Nick and Jessica legally parting ways. Today Jessica is a very successful business woman and immensely pregnant.

Pregnant women have strange cravings. Jessica and her enormous tummy waddled onto the Jay Leno show last week in 6" heels and mentioned that she obsesses about Slutty Brownies and can't get enough.

This made me think. When did it become endearing to label products and plated foods offensive names such as Slutty Brownies, Filthy Olives and Fat Bastard wine? Simpson described the brownies as "moist, rich, delicious and they are so much more. They have three layers of cookie dough, one on top of the other and loads of other good stuff. I just can't stop eating them." Her present nude photo on the cover of April's Elle magazine can attest to that.

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Filthy Olives, (about $5 a small jar) wants you to know that they are proud to be a filthy addition to drinks.  Claiming to produce excellent garnishes, this company also offers Filthy Pickles made by Sweet Home Alabama star (along with Reese Witherspoon), Josh Lucas, who apparently has plenty of slow time in-between films to make filthy things. What can I say about Fat Bastard wine (about $9 a bottle),except that I drink it often and the name is originally what attracted me to the bottle. Umm.

But can any of these American offensive names surpass the British description of many of their foods such as Rump Roast, Head Cheese, Cock-a-leekie soup or Heinz's Spotted Dick?

As I roam through the Internet, and find an abundance of nasty designations for strange concoctions, Jessica's Slutty Brownies are starting to look, obscene, highly caloric, and tamely named. Oh and JS, it's tuna and no, buffaloes don't fly.

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1 comments
Mari Tatlow Steed
Mari Tatlow Steed

Why is "bastard" offensive? Some of us were born that way and proud of it. It is not necessarily a pejorative term unless someone uses it out of context. Although I have to say I prefer Arrogant Bastard Ale to Fat Bastard wine.

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