Miami's Best Bathrooms: From Skyscrapers to the Fontainebleau

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Kareem Shaker
The bathrooms at some of the Miami's most popular places have been used for their traditional purpose, and for many other reasons as well. As bathroom attendants will attest, people take advantage of the seclusion to do things they probably wouldn't do in public.

"You get everything," said one attendant, who wishes to remain nameless. "From sex, to drugs, to rock and roll, baby (laughing)."

Never ones to pass up an opportunity to put together another useful list, we here at Short Order felt it time to rank these pissoirs in order of greatness. So. if you find yourself near one of the following five and in need of "rock and roll" feel free to swing by.

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Kareem Shaker
5. The Loews
When it comes to bathrooms, South Beach staple The Loews literally towers above the rest. As one of the tallest structures on the playa, the hotel is all you can see heading down 16th street towards Collins. The bathroom right outside Preston's restaurant is among the cleanest and nicest smelling in all of South Beach. A bamboo plant greets you as you use a towel. Forget those time-consuming hand dryers..

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Kareem Shaker
4. The Fontainebleau
Back when the Fontainebleau spent Yankee Stadium amounts of money to renovate the iconic hotel on 44th and Collins in 2009, special attention was given to the water closets. "If you think this is nice, you should see the bathrooms in my apartment," said John Hudson, a resident of Tower 1 -- to whom we had the good fortune of explaining to why we were taking a picture of an empty bathroom. "They really pay attention to the details - the fixtures, the faucets, (etc)." You may have to pay attention yourself when walking into the above bathroom right outside restaurant Gotham, or you'll walk right into a mirrored wall.

Location Info


Loews Miami Beach Hotel

1601 Collins Ave., Miami Beach, FL

Category: General

Fontainebleau Miami Beach

4441 Collins Ave., Miami Beach, FL

Category: General

Setai Hotel

2001 Collins Ave., Miami Beach, FL

Category: General

Parrillada Las Vacas Gordas

933 Normandy Drive, Miami Beach, FL

Category: Restaurant

FIFTY at the Viceroy Hotel

485 Brickell Ave., Miami, FL

Category: Music

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