Miami's Worst Bathrooms: Pubs, Parks and More

Kareem Shaker

If the world was a pageant, the City of Miami would be a beauty queen. The white sand of the beaches gives way to hotels and condos that have undergone unbelievable renovations, some that have cost upwards of a billion dollars. The most modern cruise ships in the world line our port and the most technologically advanced skyscrapers tear through our night sky. Ask an outsider to paint a picture of Miami and it will likely feature martini glasses and beautiful women.

There's another side to Miami, however. The gritty, authentic side of our burg is devoid of glitz and glamour. Sometimes it can be hard to find, but we wouldn't trade it for the world. A few months ago we explored the glitz by taking a look at the city's best bathrooms. Now it's time to shine a light on the grit, literally.

In compiling a list of the city's worst bathrooms, we visited public restrooms and bar water closets that are shameful and wonderful. We only visited places we like, so those on the list shouldn't feel altogether bad. They might want to buy a mop, though, and perhaps hire an attendant.

Kareem Shaker

5. Alice Wainwright Park
Alice Wainwright Park is a perfect example of what the great City of Miami has to offer: a public park on Biscayne Bay surrounded by multi-million dollar homes and featuring nothing but state-of-the-art facilities. Well, almost nothing but. There may be a new playground and well-maintained basketball court, but this bathroom sure could use some work. Besides the customary smell, the appearance is far from state-of-the-art. It would be nice, too, if one of the faucets worked. That way, your hands might become the only clean thing in there.

Kareem Shaker

4. Nikki Beach
We know what you're thinking, not Nikki Beach? Yes, the sparkling inside bathrooms of our very favorite South Pointe icon (best brunch buffet 2007) do well to justify the perfect drinks. And the setting of this place is absolutely gorgeous, just like the clientele. But you would think that when the luxury locale inherited the public bathroom above, it would spruce up the place. Climb off your cabana lounger and put on your slippers before you enter. You don't want your feet to touch these floors, which usually feature mysterious water puddles.