Liquor, Money, and Porn Flicks: Stuff Adults Want When Trick-Or-Treating On Halloween

Categories: Holidays

We don't want candy. Unless by "candy" you mean "candy." If ya know what we mean.
Being a grown up is rough. You're held accountable for everything, you have these awful things called "responsibilities," and everyone wants you to give them money -- all the time.

It ain't easy.

That being said, it's important to satisfy your inner child this time of year. Get dressed up, take the tots trick-or-treating, have a little fun. Tell your neighbors to leave the big Snickers bars for the kids. We want booze. And cash-money. And sex.

Unless by "candy," you mean "candy."

Jessie J had it all wrong. It's all about the money, money. Unless you're rolling in the dough, your first thought when trick-or-treating with the kids is, "what am I supposed to do with these pennies?" And that's a valid question. What are you supposed to do with all those pennies? Hundred dollar bills are far more practical.

iPhone 5s
What's that? You want the new iPhone 5? Join the club.The least the rich neighbors can do is pass these out on Halloween. It's important they only pass them on to the adults with plastic pumpkins. The kids won't know what to do with them.

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