Election Day Survival Kit: Ten Things Bring To The Polls

Categories: Food Funnies

flask.jpg
Via Gifts.com
In what might be another sign of the coming apocalypse, wait times for early voting stretched into an appalling four, six, even eight hours this past weekend. Blood sugar dropped. Sunburn reigned supreme. Adults and kids alike could be seen doing the potty dance.

(Even dudes on a chain gang get food and water when outside that long.)

Read also:
- Villa Mayfair to Reopen For Election Day Party: Free Drinks
- Early Voting Ruined My Weekend: Failed Democracy

So for those who skipped the early voting experience and are headed out to the polls today -- you might wanna plan ahead. And on that note, here's Short Order's guide to your Election Day Survival Kit.

flask.jpg
Via Gifts.com
Liquor
Tequila is probably your best bet, but whiskey or vodka would work in a pinch. While poll workers may not look kindly on you if you're swigging from full bottles of hard liquor, a handy flask tucked inconspicuously away won't attract attention. You might wanna bring two - lord knows your neighbors will be jonesing for a sip. (And if you don't drink, you can always pack the ArKay.)

digitizedchaos.jpg
Digitizedchaos for Flickr
Military rations
Who knows how long you'll be out there. Might as well be prepared for the long haul. Regular foods go bad in days, weeks, months. But rations'll do you good even if you don't get your hands on that ballot till 2014. And don't beef enchiladas in a bag sound mighty tasty?

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