Here's What to Eat if Mitt Wins

6. Tacos Republicans are big fans of Mexican food. On a trip to San Angelo, Texas, about three years ago I found myself in the most delicious Mexican restaurant, filled with nothing but cowboy hats. The food can stay. The Mexicans, however, they've got to go.
5. Ma Po Tofu This is a popular Sichuan dish is sold on the streets throughout Beijing. Republicans are hard at work devising a way to bastardize the much-loved dish striking an unprecedented gastrointestinal blow to the heart of mainland China. There are many variations, however, it generally contains cubed tofu in a spicy, numbing sauce with fermented black beans served with either beef or pork. China and the U.S. continually lock horns in trade disputes and Republicans see the fast growing country as a threat to America's worldwide dominance.

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