Epcot's Alcohol: Drinking Around at the Booze Counters & Carts

Categories: Booze Hound

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Hannah Sentenac
If you're over 21 and without offspring, Epcot is the ideal Disney destination. After all, their 11 international pavilions feature alcoholic treats from the countries of origin. From Jagermeister to champagne, you can get your buzz on all over the world.

Read also:
- Disney Treats Make You Fat, Says Center for Science in the Public Interest
- Disney's Magic Kingdom Will Sell Alcohol for the First Time Ever

Here's Short Order's round up of the best drink choices for your Epcot adventure. Here's to #drinkingaroundtheworld.

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Mexico: Pretend your toes are wiggling in the sands of the Riviera Maya, and suck down a frozen margarita. They come in fruity flavors like lime, strawberry and mango.

Norway: Score a Carlsberg beer or a shot of Aquavit. "Take the shot without making a face and you're a true Viking," quips the beer wench. Challenge accepted.

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In a very exclusive school where just millionaires and politicians' sons and daughters may assist, the teacher asks her important students:

- OK boys and girls, lets conjugate the verb steal. Emilito, you first.

- Yes madam:

* I get a tax credit.

* You find tax avoidance paths.

* We buy Mega-yachts.

* They approve a new tax law.

* You forgive my debt.

* And everybody is f*k up.


Ninfita Salinas and Emilito Azcarraga Fastlicht have gone to the movies, but they get bored waiting the film start, so they began gambling.

- Emilito, I bet a dollar you canno hit the bald kid over there down stairs.
- Sure I hit him, just see me.

Then Emilito went running down stairs and when he got to the place where the victim was, he hit his head made him screem.

- Hey Charly !!! How do you do? I haven't seen you for so long.
- Ouuuuuuuch !! I'm not Charly, I'm not Charly.
- Owww, really? Please forgive me, but you look like my dear friend Charly.
- OK, OK.

So Emilito got back his place to get his money.

- You owe me a dollar. Pay me.
- Not yet Emilito. I bet 5 dollars you cannot hit that kid again.
- Oh yeah. Poor kid.

And Emilito went back with the bald kid and hit his head again making him cry.

- You're Charly !!! Why you try to cheat me? You don't want to give me back my scooter, rigth?
- Naaaaaaaah !!! Waaaaa !! Waaaa !! I'm not Charly. I told you, I'm not Charly.
- Owww. Please forgive me. But you are exactly the same as my friend Charly. Really.

And Emilito went back to his place to get his money.

- OK Emilito. Now I bet 10 dollars you don't hit the same bald kid again.

But the kid already moved to other place at the highest part of the cinema, to avoid Emilito hit him again. With no luck, because when Emilito saw him he hit his head again.

- Hey Charly !!! How do you do? I mistake you for a bald kid down stairs.



Emilito Azcarraga Fastlicht was writing a letter to Santa, lying next to the tree and the Virgin Mary's and the Child Jesus' figures:

- Dear Santa Claus, this year I have been a very good kid and I want a bike as Christmas present.

But when Emilito was putting the letter in the Christmas stocking, the Virgin Mary's gaze made him hesitate. So he shredded the letter and wrote it again.

- Dear Santa, this year I have not been a good kid but I promise I will endeavour to be a good boy next year. If possible I would like a bike as Christmas present.

But when Emilito was putting the letter in the Christmas stocking, the Virgin Mary's gaze made him hesitate once again and he shredded the letter one more time. Then he took the Virgin Mary's and Child Jesus' figures and put them inside a dirty and dark trunk:

- Listen to me very carefully fool old man, if you want to see again the Virgin Mary and the Child Jesus, bring me a fully equipped mountain bike and put it next to the stupid tree.


Noah was in his Ark when he notices it was moving to everywhere with no control. Very confused he went to find out what was happening and when he got to the animals level he saw that all of them were doing it. Noe got very angry and he told them:

- What are you doing cynical and shameless animals? You're gonna sink my Ark. Stop right now or I will throw you out here.

In deep shame all the animals obeyed him without hesitation. But Noe felt very sorry for them and he began to give them one ticket per couple, which indicated the week day and hour they were authorized to do it.

- If you don't respect the ticket data, I will throw you out the Ark.

The days passed and the King Loui daily bother his wife telling her:

- The next Thursday at 10:00 pm o'clock you will suffer.

And during 3 days the orangutang repeated the same sentence to his wife, up to she went to complain about him:

- Noah, Loui doesn't stop bother me repeating and repeating that the next Thursday at 10:00 pm I will suffer. The guys are gossiping about me already.

Very angry Noah went to look for the orangutang to tell him:

- You stupid and fool ape. Why are you bothering your wife telling her that she will suffer next Thursday?

And the King Loui answered:

- Well Noah, that's because I lost the tickey playing poker with the elephant.


In a Hollywood’s night club, Lindsay Lohan and Mickey Mouse were having some Fairy Dust lines when it finishes:

- Don’t you have more Mickey?
- I can’t find it, but let me ask King Loui.

Then Mickey Mouse finds the orangutang next to the bar wobbling and glancing nowhere:

- Hey Monkey, have you seen my Fairy Dust package?
- I swear I haven’t. And have you seen the elephant that is flying in the VIP zone?

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