PETA: Carlos Danger Weiners Might Cause Erectile Dysfunction

Thumbnail image for carlosdangerweiner.jpg
Carlos Danger Weiners
They sure look virile enough.
Leave it to PETA to turn a large wiener into a limp noodle.

The animal rights group has just sent a letter to Carlos Danger Weiners' president, Randall Richards, calling for him to offer a veggie dog in addition to his beefy product.

See also: Carlos Danger Weiners: Hot Political Sausage Available Now

PETA's senior VP of campaigns, Dan Matthews, said, "Playing on the double entendre of Anthony Weiner's name to sell a product that can contribute to impotence in men is like selling an energy drink that puts you to sleep."

That statement alludes to the fact that a diet high in animal products has been linked to various health problems, including heart disease, diabetes, and obesity, of which impotence can be a side effect.

We spoke with Randall Richards, who confirmed he received PETA's plea. He told Short Order that he thinks adding a veggie dog to his Carlos Danger line sounds like a great idea and that he's taking the letter to heart. "I'm all for it. If we could develop a vegan product that tastes good, I'd be the first to buy it and to eat it."

Asked about PETA's statement that a carnivorous diet could lead to erectile dysfunction, Richards said, "If that's true, my fiancée will be the first one to make me stop eating meat." Carlos Danger couldn't have said it better himself.

Here's PETA's letter:

Dear Mr. Richards,

I'm writing on behalf of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) and our more than 3 million members and supporters to congratulate you on your clever marketing of "Carlos Danger" wieners. I do have a bone to pick with you, though. Since consumers are clearly looking to get a rise out of eating your cleverly named product, you really must offer a vegan hot dog, considering that the cholesterol found in meat can restrict the flow of blood to all a person's organs. What you prepare in the kitchen does impact how you perform in the bedroom.

After adopting a plant-based diet, many men report feeling increased energy and stamina no matter what they're up to. Vegans are also far less likely than meat-eaters to suffer from heart disease, diabetes, and obesity, each of which is a major cause of erectile dysfunction. Women will also benefit from eating delicious vegan foods, since vegans have significantly lower cholesterol levels than meat-eaters do. A 2009 study showed that women with high cholesterol are less likely to enjoy themselves in bed because arterial blockages reduce blood flow to their pleasure zones.

The cruelty involved in raising and killing animals for food is enough to make anyone feel small. Cattle are commonly castrated without painkillers and branded with hot irons, and they are often still conscious when their throats are slit. Vegan hot dogs are 100 percent cruelty-free and suitable for people who adhere to kosher, Hindu, and halal diets.

Going vegan is a great way for your customers to spice up their love lives, so I hope you will add a veggie dog to your list of offerings or, even better, make your entire product line vegan. I would be happy to send you a list of companies that produce veggie dogs, and I encourage you to visit PETA.org for delicious veggie-dog recipes.

Sincerely,
Ashley Byrne
Campaign Specialist

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Campaign Specialist

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1 comments
philevermore
philevermore

I suspect that there is an 'animal rights' bias to this report. I have never heard of a link between eating meat and erectile dysfunction before. Doesn't effect me anyhow ;).

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