SantaCon Coming to Miami: Is It a Menace or an Amusement?

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Santacon
Lots of Santas. All of them drunk.
The last time I was part of SantaCon, it was a complete accident.

On the way home from a two-week safari in Kenya, I had an overnight layover in New York City. When the taxi dropped me off in Greenwich Village, I noticed something amiss. Instead of the usual streets teeming with people wearing black coats in December, there were hordes of people wearing white beards and plush outfits. SantaCon!

Men and women of all ages and various degrees of intoxication filled every nook and cranny of the sidewalk and spilled out into traffic. Trust me on this one: You never want to see one Santa puking his guts up on a sidewalk while two other Santas stick their tongues down each other's throats in an inebriated attempt to get lucky. It was hell.

SantaCon itself, which took over New York City this past Saturday, December 14, is supposed to be a fun day where you wear a Santa hat, donate a few bucks to charity (which goes to various local institutions like the New York Food Bank), and drink at bars, but the day often goes awry. Mostly because anyone can turn into an asshat when drinking for hours on end. And just because you wear a fuzzy red suit does not make you a jolly old soul.

Lest you think Miami is getting away without Santas Gone Wild this year -- guess again. SantaCon 2013 is scheduled to hit our fair city this Saturday, December 21, around 11 a.m. at Brother Jimmy's BBQ before continuing through the streets of Brickell. Advance tickets cost $20, with proceeds benefiting the United Way.

If you haven't yet experienced the annual depravity, here's the warning on the website:

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SantaCon
Apparently, Anthony Bourdain thinks SantaCon is a mess too. The celebrity chef and snarky storyteller tweeted a few choice words about the event that took over Gotham:

So, what should be a festive evening of this:

Turns into a ruckus of Santas beating the crap out of each other.

Warning: Do not play this video with kids in the room, lest you scar them for life:

If you do partake in SantaCon this weekend, drink responsibly, don't vomit on your rented red suit, and try not to punch another Santa, OK? It freaks out Buddy the Elf:


Follow Laine Doss on Twitter @LaineDoss and Facebook.

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5 comments
George I'doccupyThat Owen
George I'doccupyThat Owen

Sure! Allowing a sea of coked up santas to brawl all over miami is the perfect holiday spectacle to brighten the cheeks of miamis grinch like residents.

Natalie Winston
Natalie Winston

30,000 people …. 10 dudes get in a fight and now it's a disaster!?!? people get in a fight at the NYC marathon too! Think of the kids and all the toys! South Beach Charity Santa Crawl raised money, toys, supported local businesses and no fights! We hope this saturday

Chris Arana
Chris Arana

I was in NY this past weekend i thought it was great showing of holiday spirit which Miami needs more of...but like all things Miamians do with will include Excessive behavior and get out of control...

James Kendall
James Kendall

It's not a menace. It's incredibly stupid, but it's not a menace.

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