Five Reasons Brunch Is So Overrated

flickr_atxryan_eggsbenedict.jpg
Flickr / atxryn
Eggs Benedict: Overrated.
Express your unpopular opinion. That Twitter hashtag gave me the courage to admit the unthinkable: I really hate brunch.

OK, I know what you're thinking. Whenever I admit this to someone, I'm confronted with looks of disbelief and the follow-up question, "Do you hate puppies?" Though I dressed up as Cruella de Vil for Halloween three years in a row, I promise. I do not hate puppies.

Brunch is just an awful meal -- and its unbelievably overrated. So before the weekend starts, I want to arm you with the facts. There is life outside of those pricey brunch buffets and bottomless pits of watered-down mimosas.

See also: Ten Valentine's Day Dinners in Miami Under $100 per Person

5. It's a waste of time.
Usually, you go to brunch with friends and/or family, and this requires planning a set time. A call or text the night before seems simple enough. The problem? One person in every group will have a crazy night and be hungover. There will be another person who will wake up early, workout, feel great, and then be hangry by the time brunch rolls around. Fact: These two people do not play nicely together.

It's also likely that the time they agreed upon is the same time everyone else agreed upon. That means you will probably have to wait for a table. Waiting while hangry or hungover has disaster written all over it.

Thankfully, unlike other cities, Miami restaurants rarely have wait times. But if they do, they're so spread out that you can't go somewhere else without driving. Because, really, who wants to wait an hour for a table when it's hot outside and you are hungover and/or hangry?


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63 comments
Jimbo99
Jimbo99

I don't eat at those kind of places anyway. The after church crew are the one's bringing the kids around that annoy others. So I hit a heavy lunch for brunch and make that a 2 meal Sunday.

edm2103
edm2103

Yeah, if you're looking at brunch dispassionately as a meal, brunch sucks. If you're judging it as a kind of neutral mid-day activity all your friends can agree on, brunch sucks. If you're judging it by the number of tool alt yuppie 9-to-5ers posting pics of their eggs on Instagram, brunch sucks. 


But all that kind of misses the point...


...which is that brunch at most places gives you four hours of drinking for $15, plus some probably mediocre food to go along with your buzz, in a setting society considers acceptable. Look, this isn't hard: ever go to a Beach restaurant at 3 p.m. on a weekday and notice the "ladies who lunch" ordering double margaritas with their salad? The same way they get to pretend they didn't just have five shots of tequila with a side of baby spinach, the rest of us have the privilege of getting hammered before 2 on Sundays w/o feeling like the town wino. Don't be a hater, Short Order.

Victoria Winslett
Victoria Winslett

#2 and #1 all day. I make better breakfast than the majority of brunches I've had in west palm and if I see the #sundayfunday hashtag one more time I might start unfriending people.

Arthur Shifrin
Arthur Shifrin

Brunch is not overrated and I don't mind your kids as long as you don't mind me using my fucking adult words.

Frank Castle
Frank Castle

hey new times you already put this stupid article up like 4 days ago, stop your shit, think of good articles already, brunch is not over rated, it beats cuban food anyday

Lex Dillinger
Lex Dillinger

I wanted to hate this article... But by the end of it, I was pleasantly surprised. Well done Carina Ost!

Sasha Cabrera
Sasha Cabrera

I only agree with the kids part. If you have kids, go eat at Denny's or IHOP. Why? Because I'm not going to ruin my time with friends by having to watch what I do or say for the sake of your kids. If there's alcohol being served, only expect the worst

Jeffrey Knight
Jeffrey Knight

I agree with #2 fully. Brunch is overpriced. I fix what I want on Sunday morning in my pajamas...I don't have to dress up for anyone.

Carlos Cnotez Rodriguez
Carlos Cnotez Rodriguez

That shit is pretty hyped up. .I really don't see the big deal of it..but then again I'm not one of these corporate America monkey puppets that live by the came creed of work mon-fri 9 to 5..hit the gym everyday.go out to the lounges on the weekends and top it off with a expensive ass plate of bfast in the afternoon?? Oh my...u guys r so dangerous

Seth Platt
Seth Platt

Price. Any dolt can cook an egg and some bacon. Why wait in line to pay all that money for breakfast.

Cary Gonzalez
Cary Gonzalez

LOL....of all the things in life that are overrated, brunch probably comes in around number 437,504....

Jimmy Mercado
Jimmy Mercado

Its better after all morning sex. :-P helps the appetite.

Betty Perez
Betty Perez

I see your point - I don't want to eat with screaming kids and who wants to pay for overpriced watered drinks? But where are you going for brunch ? There has to be a nice quiet place that isn't the place to be seen on Sunday" that will serve a decent omelette with some dare I say, a little subdued jazz . It sounds to me like it's your job to find that place. So don't drink all the way to your deadline to write the crap you just wrote. Go find that place. Soldier make it happen!

Frank Castle
Frank Castle

new times is soo funny, brunch is NOT overrated but you know what really is overrated your biast food taste with cuban bullshit food, i bet the reporter who did this is probably cuban, eggs benedict rock, now shut up new times

CIFMIA
CIFMIA

This article was funny! don't think the writer is saying the food taste bad. It's someone's opinion on Brunch. Mainly pointing out the negatives but so what. New Times  I don't mind your food critiques, sometimes I agree and sometimes I don't. It's not like I have some financial investment in these restaurants,

Evan Jorell
Evan Jorell

And yet Miami times posted a top ten brunch places in miami recently

Ernie Torres
Ernie Torres

I love brunch! I get to eat like it's no one's business & I have an excuse to drink at 1 in the afternoon.

Héctor González
Héctor González

Either the author or Miami must be doing it wrong. Manhattan brunch experiences are nothing like this.

Nicole Mars
Nicole Mars

I'm tired of the Miami New Times criticizing everything. Lack of productive insight and a perpetual tone of sarcasm? Come on--Miami likes attitude but fuck

Jorge Larrea
Jorge Larrea

Dear Carina Ost, you sound like an alcoholic that needs new friends. I'd rather take advice from Jeffrey Loria vs take this article in consideration. Dear New Times, why??!?!!!! Can i write for you guys? I actually love Miami unlike 80% of your writers.

Alfonso Soldi
Alfonso Soldi

As a matter of fact.. I am going to brunch right now.

Alfonso Lozada
Alfonso Lozada

Tongue and Cheek and Josh's Deli are the only two brunches I haven't gone to out of that list.. All fire! They didn't mention a hidden gem on the beach called The Local House(400 Ocean Drive). Probably my favorite one.

Alfonso Lozada
Alfonso Lozada

This chick is depressed. Most of the places I've gone to brunch are delicious. If you don't like the Mimosa or Bloody Mary, order what you would at any other bar. Not that serious...

Cindy Hernandez-Leon
Cindy Hernandez-Leon

Lol at if you want real booze stay home make eggs and drink a bottle lolol that was me last sunday Vanessa Valladares Vidaurrázaga

Albert Navarro
Albert Navarro

I can't stand the tone of the author. That trendy, sarcastic, design district, mccool, condescending attitude takes all validity from her comments.

frankd4
frankd4 topcommenter

.................what was the purpose of this article ?

Chuck Polania
Chuck Polania

LoL...the writer makes "some" points but they obviously give a shit a lot more than I do. Eggs Benedict and booze solves all of the issues from a rough night...

Antonio J Botero
Antonio J Botero

Brunch is for women, if you ever see a group of guys having brunch, it's probably gonna end in a circle jerk

Yaser Castro
Yaser Castro

Gurl please. Brunch is the best meal of the week. Mimosas and the eggs Benedict at Angelique's Cafe are eeeerthang.

Rafael Fernandez
Rafael Fernandez

Your writers must hate life... Who doesn't like brunch?!?!?

mvillarcpa
mvillarcpa

Brunch is good.  This blog on the other hand...

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