Top Ten Places to Eat and Drink in Miami

Categories: Best of Miami

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Edge Steak & Bar / Facebook
Don't be fooled: There's rum in each scoop.
Hell yeah, it's Friday.

That means it's time to eat, get hammered, and then eat again. But before you start all the revelry, let's go over the proper linguistics of Miami food and booze.

Una hartura: A state of gluttony spawned by consuming excess edibles. Symptoms include paunch, immobility, and lethargy.

Tremenda borrachera: A condition spurred by intaking vast quantities of alcohol. Side effects include narcolepsy, verbal diarrhea, and extreme elation.

Our goal is to provide you with the best places to practice your new, fun vocabulary. What follows are the top ten places to eat and drink in Miami.

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Miami's Ten Best Pizzas

Categories: Best of Miami

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Flickr/Adam Kuban
Guess who?
There are two kinds of pizza lovers in this town: traditionalists and radicals.

Traditionalists want extra cheese, but never fontina or Gorgonzola. Did you just ask them to pay 15 bucks for a 12-inch pie? They probably threw some figs and prosciutto in your face. They like pepperoni. A lot.

Radicals prefer runny eggs on their arugula-topped pies. They crave house-smoked bacon and funky cheeses. And they have no problem paying more cash for all of that added funk.

What follows are the top ten pizza joints in Miami -- a list that features Roman pizza al taglio, pizza napolitana, NY-style pizza, and, of course, pizzas swimming in delectable pools of grease.

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Top Ten Restaurants in Coral Gables

Categories: Best of Miami

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Michael McElroy
Xixón: For tapas and also una buena borrachera.
If Coral Gables were a pop star, it would be Justin Timberlake post-FutureSex/LoveSounds. You still dig the '90s man: Brillo-curled hair, frosted tips, and the damn sexiest denim outfit in history. But you also love his new, sleek sound.

This city has evolved too. It once catered to law firm types and diners who couldn't pick Kim Kardashian from a lineup. Now, Coral Gables heralds a cool era of dining. There are cocktails, funky foods, and young chefs.

What follows are the top ten restaurants in the area, a mix of the old and new.

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Top Ten Foods Miami Does Better Than Everywhere Else

Categories: Best of Miami

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James/Flickr CC
This.
Step aside, every other city in America -- especially you, Tampa.

Miami does a lot of foods better than you.

Sure, you can give us shit about a few things. Like Celia said, our English is not very good-looking. Weird things happen here. We make the news for all the wrong reasons. And we really don't know how to drive.

But guess what? We rock at the Colombian hot dog. We sell ceviche on every corner. We serve our hamburgers on Cuban bread and stuff them with deep-fried julienned potatoes. So drop the freaking 'tude. You only wish you had ten things as awesome as these.

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Miami's Five Best Poolside Dining Spots

Categories: Best of Miami

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The Raleigh Pool
If Miami is synonymous with ocean views and gorgeous beaches, why is it so hard to dine by the water? As locals know and tourists quickly find out, there are very few Miami joints that actually offer waterfront dining. And with the recent collapse of the Shuckers deck, many are left scratching their heads wondering where they can they can enjoy the water, sunsets and seafood one expects from the Magic City.

Instead of chasing rainbows all summer, try checking out some of Miami's top poolside dining spots for an equally tropical dining experience. You get the sun and light fare you'd expect from ocean side dining, and at many of the restaurants you can take a dip to cool off. We rounded up five spots where you can dine by the cement pond here in Miami. It might not be an ocean view like the one in the brochures for the city, but these spots guarantee an authentic Miami atmosphere and a good time this summer.

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Top Ten Boozy Desserts in Miami

Categories: Best of Miami

Feverish Gourmet Pops
Carina Ost
Chocolate dipped and spiked.
Dynamic duos in desserts take many forms: pie à la mode, chocolate and peanut butter, and our favorite, alcohol in sweet treats. The bookends of the meal -- the beverage and the closer -- need some fusing, showcasing, and devouring.

For a list so sweet and spiked it goes straight to your head (and your cavities), we present Miami's ten best boozy desserts. Caution: This list might contain enough simultaneous pleasure to melt your listicle.

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Top Ten Foods All True Miamians Must Try

Categories: Best of Miami

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Pincho Factory via Facebook
Buns are overrated.
You're a true Miamian if you drive like shit, bang on pots and pans when the Miami Heat wins, and prefer your guarapo with a side of chicharrón.

You're from Miami if you follow tío Pepe on Twitter, know the best cafecitos in every zip code, and eat churros con chocolate when the temperature drops below 75 degrees.

But maybe you're new to town and you hate being so sunburned and you really miss the esno back home. Fret no longer! What follows are the top ten foods all true Miamians -- native or not -- must try.

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Ten Best South Beach Restaurants

Categories: Best of Miami

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PB Sushi via Facebook
Would you like some fried clams with your pork belly sushi?
South Beach is a mecca for sky-high parking fees, haughty service, and the braggadocio of New York restaurants transported to the tropics. There are exorbitant cocktails, ceviches, and even quinoa salads as well as automatic 18 percent gratuities.

We have smartphones. We can use our calculadoras, carajo.

But amid these many annoyances, there is amazing food and incredible service. There are meatballs as big as (doll)houses and amazing deals on gourmet fare. So if you are a disgruntled victim of one too many $25 vodka-sodas, read on. You might end up falling in love with Miami Beach despite yourself.

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Download the New Best Of App

Categories: Best of Miami

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Want to know where to go and what to do in Miami? Your essential mobile guide -- also known as our Best Of app -- just got better. You already know you can count on the Best Of app to offer restaurant, shopping and nightlife recommendations from Miami New Times' expert critics. Now the app has been redesigned to be faster, sleeker, and packed with even more carefully curated local content. Not only can you find the best burger or martini in town, you can scan critics' picks and other recommended options in those and dozens of other categories. And now that we've combined our Best Of database with our comprehensive local listings, you can always find something nearby. Wherever you are in Miami, the Best Of app is your window to what's around you. It's fast, it's fun, and it's still free. Download it today.

Best Brunch: La Gloutonnerie

Categories: Best of Miami

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Our Best of Miami issue is published this week, and a Washington Avenue staple took top honors in the brunch category. Here's what we had to say:

Beurre d'Isigny is no ordinary butter. And the brunch at La Gloutonnerie, the French restaurant in South Beach, is no ordinary brunch. The churned cream is among the best Franco-butters out there, and this Sunday meal is also unsurpassed. For $45 a pop, patrons get more than good butter slathered on fresh baguette. This brunch is a feast. Diners sip on two sparkling wine drinks. There's a cold appetizer section with oysters, charcuterie, marinated cheeses, and salads; a meat carving station; and an opulent dessert division with macarons, chocolate-covered strawberries, fruit tarts, layer cakes, and treats of all shapes, forms, and sizes. If the quality of a restaurant can be measured by its butter, well, we'll just say this: La Gloutonnerie serves the tastiest French butter around.

Want to read more? Hundreds of entries are listed here.

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Want access to our Best Of picks from your smartphone? Download our free Best Of app for the iPhone or Android phone from the App Store or Google Play. Don't forget to check out the full Best of Miami® online at bestof.voiceplaces.com.

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