Eric Ripert via Twitter

Eric Ripert: MIA sucks, LaCarreta rocks.

​While it's safe to say that every Miamian has a different opinion about what to love about our fair city -- the amazing weather, pristine beaches, exciting nightlife, fine dining -- we will probably agree on one thing: Miami International Airport sucks. Plan on spending an extra few hours on the security lines, only to wait some more when your plane is delayed...sometimes for weather, but usually for no good reason at all.

Celebrity Chef Eric Ripert agrees. The executive chef and co-owner of Le Bernardin, rated four stars by The New York Times and three stars by Michelin Guide, calls Miami International Airport "pretty dysfunctional" in a recent Wall Street Journal article on airport food.
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Laura Candeau

Dwyane Wade celebrates with cake and a car.

​Dwyane Wade turns 30 today, and the Heat guard celebrated over the weekend with a red-hot party at the Setai in South Beach. The event included hundreds of his closest friends, such as Gabrielle Union, Kelly Rowland, and Rick Ross.

Also on hand was a brand-new $230,000 McLaren -- a gift from Miami luxury auto dealer The Collection. According to TMZ, the car was lifted into the hotel via crane.

Forget the car. A party's not a party without cake, and there was that too. Divine Delicacies, a celebrity-cake maker, provided not one, but two cakes for the celebration.
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Paula Deen

Paula Deen's on a boat, y'all!

​Restaurateur, celebrity chef, and butter goddess Paula Deen is taking a little ol' Caribbean cruise, and y'all are invited to party with the lady herself.

Paula Deen's Party at Sea sets sail aboard the Celebrity Eclipse from the Port of Miami January 21 for seven days of partying with Paula and husband Michael.

To be honest, the itinerary of events makes us jealous. And Paula seems like such a lush free spirit, we're thinking even the lifeboat drill will turn into some drunken laugh riot. Some of the activities and perks lined up include:
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The Travel Channel

And we thought chocolate and pizza were the best stoner foods.

​Last evening, I glued myself to the television in hot anticipation of Anthony Bourdain's newest episode of The Layover: Amsterdam. As Tony lands at Amsterdam's Schiphol Airport, I picture an hour of pot-smoking, hash brownie-eating, hooker-laden indulgence before Tony wakes up in a pool of his own vomit in some park wearing nothing but boxers and a pair of wooden shoes. After all, Anthony Bourdain and Amsterdam go together like peanut butter and jelly...like Paula Deen and butter....like boxers and wooden shoes!

Since Tony hasn't seen Amsterdam in three decades (or possibly never actually sober), he puts his bags down in the hotel room (not under the tree or at a locker at the bus terminal where he presumably did in his misspent youth) and goes straight to the Cafe Int Aepjen, or The Ape. The name comes from the fact that the owner used to trade booze for monkeys and other exotic animals, which is kind of awesome and terrible at the same time. I can envision a world where the current gold-based monetary system has been replaced by people trading a can of baked beans for a squirrel monkey, can't you?
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​

Laura Candeau poses with LeBron James' 27th birthday cake.

​The King turned 27 Friday and celebrated with a monstrous, five-tiered confection from Divine Delicacies Custom Cakes.

The fondant-covered vanilla rum cake with edible gold lion heads and a monogrammed "LJ" (created by Miami Cake Monogram) was delivered to the Shelborne on Miami Beach for a New Year's Eve fete. The dessert was prepared to feed 250 people.

Divine Delicacies was also called on to make James' cake last year. The 2012 version is significantly shorter than last year's 8-footer, but it gets our vote for its less garish color scheme and accents that lend more toward elegance than whimsy.
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By Carlos Acosta

Andrew Zimmern at Cobaya Azul

​I have to thank Bizarre Food's Andrew Zimmern for making it to Miami. I'd originally dropped a grapevine hint that he'd soon be in town only because I recently noticed his Twitter conversation with Chef Geoffrey Zakarian about visiting Tudor House.

But I didn't actually think he was serious!

Our Zimmern in Miami Twitter Tour starts five days ago (December 8) at approximately 5:22 p.m. His first tweet from the Sunshine State came from a gas station in Central Florida. It was a photo of Boone's Farm Apple Wines... about a dozen of them to be exact. Classy, Zimmern.

Anyway, upward and onward!
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Food Network

Notorious for those tortoise frames

​Calling all Food Network fanatics! As if Miami wasn't chock full of celebrities already, Food Network's Chef Geoffrey Zakarian will be gracing our city with his presence at Tudor House tomorrow.

The chef will kick off a new Rose' Brunch. Beginning December 3, you can enjoy the brunch menu every Saturday and Sunday from 11 a.m. onward.

Executive chef Jamie DeRosa and his skillful team have prepped quite a menu (fit for a true Tudor, in fact) including Dessert Dim Sum and a Bloody Mary Cart. (Should've called it Bloody Mary Tudor Cart ... Any history buffs out there? ... Anyone?) Oh, and yes, as you've likely already guessed correctly, Rose' wine will be flowing generously.

While Zakarian will primarily be there for the brunch kick off press event, you might still be able to snag a peak or even a handshake as brunch will be open to the public - it's a small restaurant anyway... how far could he possibly get?
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Laine Doss

Anthony Bourdain drives a little red Corvette in a scene from The Layover.

​Anthony Bourdain's new Travel Channel show, The Layover, premieres tonight at 9.

The show, inspired by Bourdain's frequent trips for his other Travel Channel show, No Reservations, takes us to major cities in the United States, Europe, and Asia so we can watch Tony eat, drink, and hang with the locals.

If this sounds exactly like No Reservations, Tony has assured us that his new show is as different as can be. In an interview with the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Bourdain said, "We're not making many movies like we do with No Reservations. It's a lot more [veritas] style. No Reservations is a lot more, bipolar, even manic-depressive at times."

We never thought of No Reservations as manic-depressive, but in any case, we're always up for seeing the world through Anthony Bourdain's bloodshot eyes.

First stop, Singapore. We'll have to wait to see how Miami gets the Bourdain treatment (though we do know he ate at some food trucks and drove a red Corvette around town).

Watch a preview (and see a picture of Tony feeding his wife, Ottavia, fried cheese sticks via Twitter) after the jump.
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State Farm via YouTube

Shatner's career is on fire!

​Damn it, I'm an actor, not a fryer!

The awesome William Shatner is still Captain Kirk and even Priceline commercials cannot alter his greatness.

In his most amazing role in decades, Shatner recreates the joy and dangers of turkey frying as a cautionary tale for State Farm insurance.

In this film, entitled Eat, Fry, Love, Shatner tells of the time when he nearly burned down his house after getting too cavalier with his turkey fryer.

Watch the awesomeness of Shatner in his greatest role of Bill, the Fry Guy after the jump.
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Photo by Marguerite Gil

​One of TV's most adored entertainers is leaving. No one knows exactly what his future plans are, but if you've checked out his syndicated morning show lately, you know he's not really retiring, just "moving on."

Regis makes his final exit November 18, leaving cohost Kelly Ripa on a quest to find a new TV soul mate.

Among our favorite parts of Live With Regis and Kelly has been the cooking segments. Said Regis: "I've been following great chefs' instructions on our show for many years, and I can truly say... I have learned nothing!"

Check out the following clips and see if you agree.
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