Bacon Stocking Stuffers: Ten Gifts Under Twenty Dollars

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ThinkGeek.com
Bacon makes the perfect gift for kids of all ages.
Christmas is right around the corner and you're on a mission to find a gift for the bacon lover in your life.

Sure you could go to the grocer and buy a package of meat, but why not be creative and get him or her something that requires some serious thought (plus the great taste of bacon).

We've compiled a list of ten pork-related gifts, all under $20.









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Torani
10. Bacon syrup
If your loved one enjoys flavored lattes with their bacon and eggs but just doesn't have the time for a sit-down breakfast, why not give them Torani's bacon flavored syrup?  Now your favorite Type-A personality can enjoy the great taste of bacon in their to-go cappuccino. $6.95 at Torani.com.
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Filet Mignon and Jameson Whiskey Top List of Most Stolen Items During Holiday Shopping Season

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'Tis the season for thievery, according to Adweek's list of most shoplifted items during the holiday season. Filet mignon and Jameson whiskey are numbers one and two on the list.

Though that might conjure images of rich men stuffing meat and booze into their suits, most shoplifting is done by opportunists, according to the National Association of Shoplifting Prevention. And they aren't kids. Three-quarters of shoplifters are adults with jobs.
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Derriere Hair Pies and Marc Sarnoff Spies: The SandBar Grill Rules!

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'Turd' and Vinnie flanked by SandBar staff
SandBar Grill will always be the heart of the Grove's Bermuda triangle of college bars (on the same block as the Tavern and Barracuda). Spend an early evening with regulars "Turd" Ferguson and Vinnie and your cup will runneth over with tales of sordid fun. Just don't overstay your welcome by asking too many questions, lest you be accused of being a spy for Miami Commissioner Marc Sarnoff--of the "let's save the Grove by making bars close early and killing its soul" infamy.

There's the time a sloshed regular swung on and unhinged the horizontal stripper pole atop the bar--a Sandbar original--falling on his hind parts in a male version of Coyote Very Ugly.

Or there's the time after losing a football bet that a patron agreed to streak around the triangle. His dash landed him in the middle of a packed Sandbar on Penny Beer night, where he did a naked bump and grind slowly snaking his way through hundreds of disgusted, yet delighted, students.

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Top 10 Cereal Mascots We'd Like to Screw for Valentine's Day

Categories: Confessions
Sure red meat makes you horny. And Spanish fly is the greatest of all aphrodisiacs. But what red-blooded American wouldn't want a cereal mascot to keep his or her hunger satisfied on Valentine's Day, too? As to what each one could provide in the lovin' department, well...

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1. Tony Tiger's a manly man. And his "Greeeeaaat!" growl sure as hell sounds like he's having an orgasm.
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Interview: Sean Brasel Gets The 10

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Sean Brasel
Sean Brasel is the chef/co-owner of Miami Beach's sultry steakhouse known appropriately as Meat Market. The restaurant sits in the space formerly occupied by Jonathan Eismann's Pacific Time [You know it's now in the Design District, right? Yeah. Thought so.] and, seemingly, being there has provided some good juju in weird economic times. 

But Brasel hardly needed any luck, voodoo, or any of that because he has a reputation in Miami Beach few can match. Perhaps you remember him as part of the crew that opened Touch nearly a decade ago? This Coloradoan began his career as a sous chef at Cliff Young's in Denver, working his way up the food chain until he landed on Lincoln Road in 2000.  

If you want to see him up close and personal, hopefully you already bought tickets to the Dinner in Paradise event on January 10. Brasel will be cooking alongside heavy-hitters Michael Schwartz, Clay Conley, and Michael Bloise to raise money for the Plant a Thousand Gardens Collaborative Nutrition Initiative.

Now as for a reason why this seemingly nice guy would like to give Lance Armstrong raven shit in his salsa, well... we don't know. But read on:

New Times: If you could serve a meal to any famous person, alive or dead, who would it be and what would you cook for him/her?  

Sean Brasel: Lance Armstrong. I would prepare an organic meal that features high energy proteins and healthy approaches to athletic training foods. Organic ostrich wood grilled with local Homestead organic braised greens, fresh huitlacoche salsa, and yellow chili sauce.
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Interview: Chef Tim Andriola Gets the 10

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Tim Andriola
No use rehashing all of Chef Tim Andriola's background info, since Katel did a fine job of that in his blog post, so let's just remind everyone that this popular guy is and has been co-owner of Timó in Sunny Isles Beach since its inception in 2003. He previously kept diners happy for five years as chef de cuisine at Chef Allen's, then as executive chef at Mark's South Beach. He also sliced and diced at Charlie Trotter's and Chez Panisse.

His Mediterranean/Italian eats have been lauded by a number of respected critics, undoubtedly making his former instructors at the Culinary Institute of America very, very proud. And now he's also working on a Timó cookbook so us food prep neophytes can try to keep up at home.

Even with all that experience, it seems Andriola can't quite figure out that darn Pacojet. But, hey, we're just impressed he knows a chick with thighs strong enough to crack crabs. It is his girlfriend? Wonder which gym she belongs to. 

Anyhow, here's more:  

New Times: If you could serve a meal to any famous person, alive or dead, who would it be and what would you cook for him/her?
 
Tim Andriola: Jesus Christ, the last supper.
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Interview: Chef Doug Rodriguez Gets The 10

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Chef Doug Rodriguez
Oft labeled the "Godfather of Nuevo Latino," bestselling author and Chef Douglas Rodriguez has also been heaped with praise by Newsweek and Zagat, among others. But folks 'round here mostly just know him as "That guy who takes the flavors of Latin America and whips them up into delicious food fiestas."

Fans of OLA, his Latin Fusion resto in The Sanctuary, are all abuzz about his forward focus on Cuban cuisine, but what they may not recall was that Rodriguez's Miami reign with Havana-esque eats began ages ago with Yuca in Coral Gables. PR reps promise his new restaurant at Hotel Astor, D. Rodriguez Cuba, will provide upscale, authentic Cuban food, traditional-style Cuban cocktails, and live salsa music Thursdays through Sundays when it opens next month. Sure sounds like the cherry on top of his Cuban culinary career sundae, right? 

But let's not jump ahead. Read on to discover that Chef Rodriguez would like to be licked by a Fox, prefers a chef's coat to an orange jumpsuit, and has no qualms about slamming "Mr. Bam":

New Times: If you came back in your next life as a food item, what would it be and how would you like to be served? 

Douglas Rodriguez: I'd be a lollipop--whichever flavor is Megan Fox's favorite.

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Area 31's John Critchley Gets The 10...

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Chef John Critchley
Executive chef John Critchley of Area 31 at Epic seems to be a man of few words--as is evidenced by his interview below--but perhaps that's because his focus is more on action, nowadays. 

As a matter of fact, on November 20, he'll present a donation check to the Marine Mammal Conservancy in Key Largo reflecting profits from his restaurant's pre-fixe menu featuring locally caught, sustainable seafood. (Did you know the restaurant was named for Fishing Area 31, a region of the Western Central Atlantic comprising the entire Florida coast, Central America, and northern South America? Yup. All fishies in there are short-line caught.)

Critchley hails from Massachusetts on Cape Cod Bay, so it's pretty safe to say the man knows his way around seafood. He also graduated from The Culinary Institute of America in Hyde Park, worked in Boston as a sous chef in Clio/Oringer's Uni Sashimi Bar, and ran Toro, a Boston tapas bar. Just before joining Kimpton Hotels & Restaurants (Epic's operating company), he labored at Island Creek Oysters helping to harvest and grow the bivalves. 

Thankfully, he didn't clam up entirely when we hit him with The 10. [Get it? Clam up?!? Har!] Anyway, here's what he had to say:

New Times: What was your best or worst dining experience? 

John Critchley: Went to a "celebrity chef" dining spot in San Francisco by myself after a long day of crunching numbers. After placing my order, I waited about 30 minutes, then a bus boy dropped my check... However, never did I get my food or drink. Turns out the server was "cut" due to lack of business. I guess we can see why.

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Ingrid Hoffmann Gets the 10 Questions

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Ingrid Hoffman
Now here's a chef who knows the meaning of caliente. For those of you who may not recognize this hometown girl (which rock have you been living under, huh?), she's the host of Food Network's Simply Delicioso, as well as Galavision/Univision's hit series, Delicioso, and she's authored cookbooks of the same names. Or perhaps you recently spotted her premiering a new, vivid kitchen products collection with a Latin twist, Simply Delicioso by Ingrid Hoffmann, during HSN Cooks.

But Hoffman wasn't always the successful, graceful, talented gal we know today. "As a teenager working for my mom's catering company doing the inaugural ball of the governor of the Netherlands Antilles, I went to hang these flowers from the chandelier above the sweets and champagne table and lost my balance from the ladder and held myself from the chandelier only to come down with the chandelier," she recalled. "I ripped it from the ceiling while dangling over the table, then crashed through the table, champagne flutes, desserts, etcetera, 10 minutes before the party began. Mom fired me on the spot!"

We're glad she lived to tell the story. And even though we now know perhaps she's a bit of a klutz and she likes to eat ants and (more about that below), we still find Ingrid Hoffmann incredibly appealing. Here's what she had to say:

New Times: If you came back in your next life as a food item, what would it be and how would you like to be served?

Ingrid Hoffman: A mango, because it's sweet and tarty also an aphrodisiac, and would like it plated in a sexy way, like a Mango Rose Water Sorbet in a martini glass and decorated with edible rose petals.
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Dewey LoSasso Gets the 10 -- Questions, That Is...

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Dewey LoSasso
Where, oh where did Dewey LoSasso go? After recently closing his beloved North One 10, some suspected that perhaps this "Mango Gang" co-founder tossed aside his skillets for a stint as a guitarist, but fans will be thrilled to know they will find behind the line as executive chef at The Forge in mid-December. (As for his charming wife Dale, North One 10's front of the house maven, she is busy keeping Soleá at the W South Beach humming along as general manager).

We thought perhaps we knew Dewey well after eating from a number of his popular themed menus, but after reading his response to the 10, we're still left wondering a few things, namely if he'd at least let Batali wear his orange Crocs. Hmmm. Whatever. Here's the dirt:
 
New Times: If you could serve a meal to any famous person, alive or dead, who would it be and what would you cook for him/her? 

Dewey LoSasso: Bruce Springsteen: A Jersey Shore-Florida hybrid dinner
  
NT: What was your best or worst dining experience?

DL: BEST: Ristorante Enoteca Pinchiorri tasting menu, Florence, Italy

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