British Library "Discovers" Unicorn Cookbook; Miami Chefs Provide Unicorn Meat Recipes

Categories: Food Funnies

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Eugene Kim via Fickr
Unicorn meat: Magic in every bite!
In celebration of April Fool's Day, we're sharing what just might be the best food-related, April Fool's Day prank ever.

A while back, the jokesters at the British Library pulled a dastardly prank on the world's literate populace, which, sad to say, includes conspiracy theorists and people who engage in LARP.

Julian Harrison, the library's curator of pre-1600 historical manuscripts, wrote a blog post revealing the "discovery" of a "unicorn cookbook" in the British Library. Harrison, a smart cookie by anyone's definition, included statements of such apparent veracity that several members of the intelligentsia, including art historians, were fooled into believing the existence of "a long-lost medieval cookbook, containing recipes for hedgehogs, blackbirds, and even unicorns" was real.

We, of course, saw right through the faux story (cough, after a minute or two), and thought, What if unicorns were real? Would they taste like chicken? Knowing there are others much better suited to answer that question, we stopped thinking and reached out to local chefs for their opinion. Cesar Zapata from the Federal, Jacob Anaya from OTC, and even Norman Van Aken, the founding father of new world and fusion cuisines, not only gave us their opinion but also provided us with recipes.

Here's what the noted chefs had to say.

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Watch Pogo's Sweet Willy Wonka Remix (Video)

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Willywonkawallpapersog.blogspot.com
I've got a golden ticket!
Rabid fans of music, Disney, or YouTube may already be familiar with Pogo.

The music producer and remix artist is know for his incredibly watchable video edits that combine the music, voices, and sounds from beloved childhood classics like Sesame Street, Alice in Wonderland, and Mary Poppins into something new and fascinating.

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Five Crazy Condom Flavors for Valentine's Day and Beyond

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undercovercondoms.com
Taste the rainbow.
We all know February 14 is Valentine's Day, but a little-known fact is that it's also National Condom Day.

In honor of love, safe sex, and expanding sexual taste buds, we present you with the top five crazy condom flavors. Keep your vanilla sex and vanilla condoms, because thing are about to get wild and tasty.

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Jonah Hill Goes to Benihana on Saturday Night Live

Categories: Food Funnies

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Screenshot Hulu
We totally want to go to Benihana, now.
Since 1960's Benihana has been known as the place in which to have "dinner and a show" with its teppanyaki restaurants. The Miami-based chain is much beloved as a place to celebrate birthdays and anniversaries because of its communal tables and entertaining chefs that perform intricate displays of knife work while cooking in front of audience of diners.

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Taco Bell Now Sells Jewelry

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Taco Bell
I'd like that ring with hot sauce.
More and more people are willing to brand themselves with their favorite product's logo -- and pay for it. Iconic logos like Coca-Cola and Budweiser are available in wearables such as T-shirts, hats, and board shorts, which people happily purchase to showcase their favorite food or drink.

Now that fad has expanded to jewelry. One of the most coveted gifts among tweens this holiday season was a diamond-encrused Hershey's kiss, which retails for $360 at Macys.com.

But why seal it with a kiss when you can live más? Introducing the Taco Bell ring set.


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Edible Anus: Chocolate for A-holes

Categories: Food Funnies

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Edible Anus via Facebook
Imagine the surprise when your boss opens this.
Did you ever have to give a gift to someone who's, well, a bit of an asshole?

We've found the perfect present: Edible Anus!

It's exactly what you think it is. Fine Belgian chocolate in the shape of a butthole. Or, as the company's website puts it ever so seductively: "rings of succulent chocolate cast and crafted from the posterior of our stunning butt model."

Hey, they don't call it "chocolate starfish" for nothing.

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Seattle Woman Ate Only Starbucks All of 2013

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via Flickr Morrissey
Could you eat this for 365 days in a row?
Could you imagine getting all of your meals -- breakfast, lunch, and dinner -- from one eatery for an entire year?

Well, Beautiful Existence (yes, her legal name) did just that. What restaurant did the Seattle woman choose? Starbucks, naturally.

For each day in 2013, Existence ate all of her meals from Starbucks or "Starbucks-inspired" joints such as Roy Street Coffee, Tazo Tea, and Evolution Fresh.

Although she confined herself to these spots, she continued to prepare meals for her two children, while spending an average of $500 to $600 per month on her mocha meals, according to the New York Daily News.

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Thanksgivukkah: Turbrisket, Menurkey, and a Movie (Video)

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Funny or Die screenshot
Just when you made peace with a tree by the menorah...
This Thanksgiving, members of the "tribe" will experience a phenomenon that won't (thankfully -- pun intended) occur for the next 70,000 years.

On Thursday, November 28, Thanksgiving and Hanukkah collide.

This holiday-in-a-holiday has created a whirlwind of strange new pseudowords and souvenir items that mesh both occasions -- with tragicomical results.

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Conan Remakes Scarface... With Oreos

Categories: Food Funnies

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Team Coco
Scarface remade. With Oreos.
Have you heard that Oreos are as addictive as cocaine?

A new study from Connecticut College shows that laboratory rats found Oreos to be pretty delicious. The college's research concluded that the cookies "activated more neurons in the rat brain's pleasure center than drugs such as cocaine", according to Time.

The study placed rats in a maze where they were given the choice of hanging out near rice cakes or Oreos. Not surprising, the rats chose the cookies. Those results were compared to another test where rats were given the choice of staying close to an area of a maze where they were injected with saline, or another corner where they got a shot of cocaine or morphine. The rats chose the cocaine side.

The result of this study? That rats like sugar and cocaine much like people (duh)...and that people do a lot of f**ked up studies with rats.


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Miracle Fruit Plants Available at Home Depot: LSD for Your Mouth

Categories: Food Funnies

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Photos by Laine Doss
Litte tree. Strange fruit.
Have you tried miracle fruit? The small red berry, native to West Africa, contains a protein called miraculin, which binds with our taste buds and, when introduced to acids, makes sour taste sweet.

Called "LSD for your mouth," the fruit creates a result that's supposed to be strange. There's a cottage industry of "mouth tripping" parties where people pay to take the berry and experiment with different flavors.

From time to time, the berry pops up in Miami, and the Fruit & Spice Park has a miracle fruit tree on property. Online suppliers sell the berries for about $2.50 each -- making them an expensive little "parlor trick."

On a recent trip to Home Depot, I spotted something interesting. Along with some blackberry bushes, the hardware megastore was selling baby miracle fruit trees. At $29.99, they were about three times more expensive than other plants, but one little tree was already bearing fruit and was begging me to take it home.

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