Having a hard time coping with the fact that the world might end tomorrow? Yeah, we thought you might, and since the idea that civilization as we know it may be wiped out so that the dawn of a new age can begin is a little morbid, we've thought of a cynical approach to make you feel a little better.

Short Order has put together a short list oflast meal requests from death row inmates. They had their choice. If the Mayans were right, we don't.

Granting a last meal for a death row inmate has roots in pre-modern Europe since it was believed that a meal was a highly symbolic social act, giving these condemned human beings one last chance at contentment through eating. Doesn't everyone deserve that? Rules have changed since ancient times and since this isn't Europe, things are a bit different. Most meals are given a day or two before execution and have price restrictions as well as the need to be acquired locally. The budget for a last meal in the Sunshine State is $40. Alcohol and tobacco are usually denied and unorthodox requests are substituted by an unoriginal and probably bland option.

Since a last meal is the last honest choice one can make before being put to death, it's almost like convicts' last statement to society and themselves. So if you're having a hard time deciding what message you want to send out into the world here's some advice from the pros.

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Wikipedia

With Christmas coming soon, we almost overlooked one minor detail. Doomsday is this Friday. Dun, dun, dun.

The Mayans finished their calendar with a last cycle ending on
December 21, 2012, which has fueled countless theories about the world ending on this date at precisely 11:11 (UTC). Make a wish ...

But before you go, you you'll need dinner. Lucky for you we've rounded up a few places that are celebrating the occasion. Be sure to make a reservation or plan accordingly so that even if the world is ruined, your dinner plans won't be.

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​Winter Music Conference is here and many people -- tourists and locals alike -- look forward to it all year long. It's a chance to watch and listen to some of the biggest names in music and, of course -- get ripped beyond existence. There's no denying that many patronize the week-long event while under the influence of drugs that include -- but are not limited to -- ecstasy, molly, LSD, shrooms, ketamine, alcohol, marijuana and cocaine.

Of course, we here at Short Order don't condone the use of drugs to enhance your WMC experience, but we are not ignorant enough to deny their existence. So, if you must engage in brain experimentation this week or any other, here are some perfect places to regain your composure before attempting to make it home alive.

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Camille Lamb

Locals party with their cats at Under the Mango Tree in SoBe.

​It's Friday night on Sixth Street in South Beach, and we're huddled in a cozy little clothing boutique over glasses of wine. After pondering a rack of gray acid-washed jean shorts, a young blond woman reenacts a scene from the English class she teaches at UM, exaggerating her own native Minne-so-tan accent when she plays herself. A tall and smiling dread-locked Brazilian guy enters the room, and words of welcome, kisses and hugs usurp the impromptu performance.

This is a scene from the Sixth Street Movement party last night. "The Movement" consists of a bunch of shops on Sixth Street between Euclid and Meridian Avenues in South Beach that are focused on creating a sense of community in our transient town. Under the Mango Tree, a smoothie and local artisan shop, its sister store Native Boutique Clothing, and newcomer/neighbor Crème Fresh Vintage Clothing hosted last night's party - the third and the biggest of its kind in recent months.

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Everybody's doing it.

​Sometimes, everything you've ever feared about the drive- thru is true. Careful what you say into that fast food speaker.

Short Order recently met Trew Money, his rap name, in a local bar and grill kitchen where he was working as a dishwasher.

We asked if he had any funny stories from working in the restaurant business and his face lit up, he cracked a smile, and he said, "Yeah...I got some stories dawg."

"I was working at a Steak-N-Shake in Hialeah Gardens that's closed down now. All of us that was working there were young, like 16, 17, 18.

First off, the manager was fu#*!cking one of the servers. Well, then he started fu*#!cking another one, and the first one found out, and that was just drama right there.

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8 Oz. Burger Bar

Spin city

​Govind Armstrong's challenged upscale seafood chain, with locations in LA and New York, has severed its weakest link: South Beach. 

As reported in the Miami Herald bankruptcy column today, Table 8 has filed for Chapter 7.  For those of you not familiar, this means full-on liquidation -- and not of the ocean type. 

8 Oz. Burger Bar, a popular meat and bun-focused spin-off, will remain open.  Co-owner Eric Fried relayed to Short Order in a phone conversation today that, despite sharing a common brand and executive chef in Armstrong, the two restaurants "have absolutely no financial relationship." 

Table 8, which opened on South Beach in December 2006, had been on shaky ground for a while with both customers and critics.  "Market-driven California cuisine" may have a place in South Florida, but its going to take a more hands-on approach than what Armstrong was willing to invest.

The Internet

Fluttering away

Open only since February, Mariposa on Third Avenue in Shenandoah appears to have called it quits.  Hints of its demise were evidenced by step ladders seen through a newly un-branded storefront on a recent drive by.  Calls placed to its phone number today resulted in a perpetual busy signal on the other end.  The former website is also for sale from Godaddy.com.

Not that anyone cares, because the food was crummy and service even worse, stifling what was supposed to be a convenient stop for an afternoon cafe or even panino for lunch.

Hopefully any customers they had will just go across the street to newly opened Casa Cafe.

We've called up more than 250 restaurants in Miami, sniffing out closings over the past month and reporting them.  Combined with tips from friendly commenters, here's a recap of what's 'unfolded' in May.  So now the question is, who's next on the list Sherlock?

Coral Gables
Chocolate Restaurant - The lights at this restaurant on Coral Way have been out for some time and phone calls turned up a disconnected number.  A search online found health code violations in December of last year, but a clean inspection on April 22.  There is a branded website homepage reading "coming soon."

Design District
Brosia - We learned yesterday that the restaurant has been sold and will be closed through the duration of the transfer of ownership until its future is determined.

South Beach
Maison D'Azur at The Astor - A phone call to the hotel today confirmed the restaurant is closed "for renovation for about 2 to 3 weeks."  When pressed for details on what was being done, replied with "it's behind closed doors." 
The Forge - Closed for renovation with no anticipated re-opening date.
Kobe Club - Per China Grill management, "Kobe Club Miami will reopen in August when Miami Spice starts and goes through the end of September, and continue to be open after, as it's when our season kicks in."
Zushi Flirt - Replaced by a branch of 8-oz. Burger Bar in the lobby of Z Ocean Hotel.
Akashi at Fresh on 5th - Closed on the second floor, but contemplating venture downstairs in the future.

Downtown Miami
Shaka Jon's - It's phone is disconnected, and the website is no longer in use.
Prime Blue Grille - Closed, empty restaurant and empty website.

North Miami Beach
Matador Argentinian Steahouse - Multiple phone calls to multiple listed numbers produced busy signals.

 

 

In a response to our blog about the up-and-coming MIA venue in downtown Miami, Eddie writes that he will miss another downtown spot, Prime Blue Grille -- which reminds me of a an old country music song, How Can I Miss You When I Don't Know You're Gone?

According to Daily Business Review's Inside Track blog from two weeks ago, a sign in Prime Blue's window went up claiming that it would be closed for remodeling. The phone number listed on the place's website is gone. And as the IT post keenly notes, there is really little to retool in this sleek restaurant that is less than two years old. So you didn't hear it here first, but we're repeating the news for those, like us, who missed it.

John Linn

The chicharron tacos at Tacos al Carbon are a thing of beauty.

Each week on Destination: Food, Short Order pays tribute to the restaurants - dives and chichi joints alike - that serve South Florida's "go-to" meals. These are dishes that you think about when you're toiling at work; that you still taste in your mouth hours after you've finished them; that you'd be willing to drive for hours across this urban sprawl just to consume. Most of all, they're the eats that define the South Florida food scene. If you have a suggestion for our next Destination: Food, leave us a comment below.

Welcome to the first Destination: Food, everyone. We've got an oldie-but-a-goodie holding down the premier spot, the chicharron tacos at Lake Worth's Tacos al Carbon. 
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