I Drank Go-Go Juice: Jitters, Racing Heart, and a Crash
| Laine Doss |
| Do-it-yourself Go-Go Juice. |
The show is like watching roadkill, and I admit I've spent one too many rainy Saturday afternoons with T&T marathons. After all, I was a child pageant contestant (once) and remember the hateful hair spray, that tackle box filled with green- and blue-frosted eye crayons, and those neon orange hot pants my crazy mother thought were so adorable on my chubby little five-year-old body. I got out by running away from home after the pageant, agreeing to stay put if I didn't have to do that ever again. Others aren't so lucky. Like Honey Boo Boo.
Honey Boo Boo's real name is Alana Thompson. The six-year old self-proclaimed redneck girl and pageant queen wins countless worthless tiaras and sashes by prancing around in Daisy Dukes and big hair, playing with her belly fat (apparently that wins the judges' hearts every time), and in general being a little peroxide and tanned ball of energy. Where does this little girl get all this energy, you may ask? A little concoction dreamed up by her mom called Go-Go Juice.
Go-Go Juice, by the way is a heinous combination of Mountain Dew and Red Bull mixed together. In an interview on Good Morning America, June (who is overweight, by the way), sees nothing wrong with giving her little angel this drink. She also adds that she used Pixy Stix (known in pageant circles as kiddie crack) on Honey Boo Boo (sometimes as many as 16 in a day), but they didn't work.
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