OJ's House of Vegan Nuggets...coming soon?

​In an act of sheer and utter genius, People For The Ethical Treatment of Animals' President Ingrid Newkirk wants to turn O.J. Simson's soon-to-be-foreclosed Miami house into a Meat is Murder museum.

We called PETA's headquarters and spoke with Ashley Byne, Manager of Campaigns, who confirmed that yes, indeed, Newkirk sent a letter to James Dimon, Chair and CEO of JP Morgan Chase, requesting that the banker, "donate or sell us for a nominal sum O.J. Simpson's Miami house once the foreclosure process is complete so that we may turn it into a "Meat Is Murder" Museum".


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DpStyles/Flickr

We have some ideas on how Boy Scouts can beat the girls at their own game.

​Girl Scout cookie season officially starts today in South Florida, and you know what that means, don't you?

Yup, dozens of little green hustlers swarming all over you whenever you try to enter a supermarket or big-box retail establishment. Trying to sell you boxes of overpriced chemical-laden cookies that are basically the same taste and quality as the crap you can buy any time of the year at Publix...but because of a great marketing campaign (or the allure of a cute pig-tailed tot), you're salivating like Pavlov's dog at the thought of a Trefoil or Thin Mint.

Thinking of this annual onslaught made us think of the Boy Scouts and why they don't sell cookies. In fact, Boy Scouts do sell something -- popcorn.

The Trail's End website sells popcorn, trail mix, and pretzels -- all benefiting the Boy Scouts of America. Trouble is, outside of a movie theater does anyone really eat popcorn? And does anyone ever eat trail mix, the unholy marriage of peanuts, raisins, and M&M's?

If the Boy Scouts are ever going to beat the girls at their own game, they've got to sell something a little more interesting...here are some suggestions:
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Over the weekend I received an email from Simon Ho that read:

"A good friend of mine did the unthinkable...managed to convince his fiancé to have burgers at their wedding. Not just any burger will do, so they created a video and sent it to the CEO of Shake Shack. He responded in minutes. Now let's hope it works out!"

Gabriel Trujillo and Vanessa Valdez are the couple who created this very convincing and creative clip, which is now on YouTube. Gabe's slickly edited plea, entitled "Shake Shack Cater My Wedding (please)," is a list of reasons for doing so. One is that "I love your burgers almost as much as my fiancé" (though he quickly adds that his gal is "pretty awesome"). Another rationale cited is that "she only agreed to have burgers at the wedding because she didn't think it would happen." And the duo are locals who are looking to the Lincoln Road Shack for help, as reason #3 is "neighbors help each other out..."(with a map of Miami Beach).
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Heeeere's Johnny!

​Halloween is almost here and you have a dilemma. There's a pumpkin on your doorstep ready to be carved, but what do you do? Sure you can do the standard Jack O' Lantern, but how boring is that? Why not turn that giant orange gourd into a work of art? 

It's actually easy since there are now websites devoted to providing budding pumpkin artistes with patterns. A few good ones are ZombiePumpkins and TMZ (yes, that TMZ), where you can download stencils to carve lifelike images of Charlie Sheen, Ozzie Osbourne, and Johnny Cash to name a few.

To get you started, we've come up with ten of our favorites, ranked by fear factor.
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By Epicurious

Funny bones are cute and sweet to eat

​Say no to another Halloween candy rut! Here are 5 easy treats that will keep kids and grown-up kids happy this year.

5. Funny Bones

These little guys can be made in no time and are so sweet to eat. Who doesn't love a chocolate covered pretzel. Especially when that pretzel is dipped in white chocolate and pressed between two gooey marshmallows.

Simply melt white chocolate over a double boiler, throw some pretzel sticks in and once dry, stick mini marshmallows on each end. All you need now is a mini shovel to stuff your face.

By MyRecipes.com

Casper never looked so good

​4. Ghostly Pizza

Who says Halloween is only about candy and sweets. Let's make room for the savory side.

This ghostly pizza is perfect for trick or treaters before their long night out. It's also good for groups suffering from the munchies. This pizza takes 15 minutes to bake and is easy as pie. Use a store bought crust and a little olive oil and tomato sauce, then using a ghost shaped cookie cutter, cut ghoul-like mozzarella pieces to top the pizza. Use capers for the eyes. Bake it in a 475 degree oven for 15 minutes and dinner is on the table.

By Heather Bailey

Add some liqeur & you'll wake up with a lightning scar too

​3. Broomstick Brew

It's hard to imagine any holiday where Harry Potter wouldn't fit in with the theme. It seems to work spectacularly well during Halloween. To celebrate everyone's favorite boy wizard, mix up a batch of this broomstick brew, made from ginger beer and butterscotch syrup.

In a large frosted mug, simply pour 1 tablespoon of butterscotch syrup and mix in a half can each of cream soda and ginger beer. This drink is rich and creamy and perfect after a long night of ding-dong ditch or whatever other shenanigans you've been up to. It wouldn't hurt to pour in a shot or two or butterscotch schnapps, you've earned it.More >>

Burger King

BK: so much more than a Whopper.

​Miami-based fast food giant Burger King has announced that they're entering the Canadian Poutine market with the addition of the Canadian specialty to their menu.

That got us wondering just what other worldly delights the King dishes out in other countries. Here's what we found:
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via sanfransiscosongbird.com

C'mon, dollface, the booze is on me tonight!

​Life is tough. We could be heading into a new-age Depression. Of course, here at Short Order, the first thing we think of is: What will we eat? And better yet: What will we drink?

Let's take a step back in time when the best of us knew how to truly turn lemons into lemonade. Embrace '30s vintage lifestyle by throwing a soiree -- speakeasy style, with a Sazerac and some Depression cakes (also called war cakes) to boot.

Here's a bit of history. Dames in the '30s didn't have much to make sweet treats for the family. There were no eggs, milk, sugar, or butter, so to please the returning soldiers, they had to make do. And that meant making cake with half the ingredients they were accustomed to. And wouldn't you know it, they hit on something we think of as trendy nowadays: a vegetarian chocolate cake.
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TLC

Guess our secret addiction to cave-aged Gouda with cheap wine isn't so bad, after all.

​Once upon a time, a cable television network called TLC stood for The Learning Channel. It promised to bring educational and scientific programming designed to elevate our lives with the light of knowledge.

Problem is, no one watched thoughtful shows about the universe and medical breakthroughs. Then TLC started adding shows about women who have multiple children via in-vitro gone awry (Kate Plus 8), little people (The Little Couple), polygamists (Sister Wives), and people who collect many, many cats (Hoarding: Buried Alive).

Naturally, the American public was shocked and outraged delighted at the schlock insightful shows. Now, there are only so many people from arcane religious sects that have 19 children to feature, so TLC added a new show, My Strange Addiction.

Sure My Strange Addiction features people who dress like babies, collect dead things, and compulsively bathe in bleach. But we watch for the people who eat strange things. With that in mind, we're counting down the ten strangest food addictions featured on the show:
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Britney Spears sells candy, not Starbucks and Doritos, in Japan.

​Typically the life cycle of a celebrity is pretty predictable. Before becoming famous, there's the usual batch of embarrassing commercials in order to break into show business and pay the rent without resorting to prostitution, selling drugs, or tending bar. After celebrity comes knocking, the commercials are somehow beneath them because they're serious actors.

They then proceed to sneak over to Japan, where the Japanese hand over big, fat paychecks to those serious actors willing to do the most incredibly embarrassing things -- as long as it's on the other side of the planet.

Here are some of the craziest commercials we could find, starring celebs who wouldn't dare sell Apple Jacks or Budweiser in the States, but feel totally free to drive giant bunnies around in convertibles in Tokyo.

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Whatever happened to just drinking tap water?

Courtesy Wikimedia Commons

​We are skeptical of health food companies touting organic food. Too much if it is aimed at neurotic health nuts and righteous pseudo-hippies. One company has particularly made us rethink that organic purple carrot juice we bought at Whole Foods.

At last week's Fancy Food Show in Washington, D.C., Llanllyr Source Water peddled "organic water." According to Llanllyr's Web site, the water is sourced under organic fields in Wales.

Well heads up: organic water just doesn't exist.
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