Photo by Rhett Sutphin/Flickr CC

Show that bird who's boss.

​Whether you are deep frying your bird or filling it with other animals until it becomes a Turducken, sometimes you gotta know the basics. Welcome students, to carving 101. In under five minutes you will have stripped off all that luscious meat and have your platter full just in time for dinner!

Tools: Tongs and a carving knife. What do those look like or where to find em? Check out this carving knife we found on Amazon for only $6. Of course it's too late for that. But CVS or Walgreen's just might take care of you. Or Ace Hardware will sharpen your dull old blade.
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CBS

Andy Rooney eats his vegetables

​Andy Rooney, the famous 60 Minutes commentator who spent 30 years doing essays for the Sunday evening news magazine, died on November 4th at the age of 92.

Rooney retired just a month ago on October 2. According to 60 Minutes, Andy wrote and filmed 1,097 essays for 60 Minutes. The essays, which closed the weekly show, covered most every topic imaginable, from war to god to dogs. One topic that got a lot of attention was food. Rooney was especially fond of holding a mirror to companies that practiced deceptive marketing practices.

In fact, one of Rooney's four Emmy awards was for a story in which he revealed that there was no Mrs. Smith behind Mrs. Smith's Pies.

We've found five of Andy Rooney's best essays on food. In them, like most of his essays, he doesn't say anything particularly new -- he just says what we've been thinking all along. That's why we'll miss him.
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Sure, food is meant to be eaten, but to the creative person, it can also be a great tool for abusing your buddies. These food-based tricks use items that you probably already have at home and offer an extremely high cost-to-laugh ratio. So, go MacGyver your own food weapon to torture those who have it coming to them.

Disclaimer: We are not responsible for the mess and/or smells you will create or for the anguish you will experience when your target undoubtedly retaliates.



1. Exploding ketchup: A low-cost classic that's perfect for ruining that horrible shirt your significant other refuses to retire.
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Cohen, Rasta Cook

​When you smoke herb, it reveals your food to yourself. Sure, you can live your whole life eating nothing but processed industrial food type products, and we love pork fat, and gas station patties as much as the next schlub, but it's good to try new things.

Every Saturday at Glaser Organic Market in The Grove Cohen, DJ House of Israel Sounds, and friends come together to make traditional Rasta foods and sell fresh split coconuts.

Here is episode 1 of the Ital Is Vital Cooking Show.
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Snickers has had some nutty commercials in recent months. There was the Betty White/Abe Vigoda football spot, then the Aretha Franklin road trip bit, and now the creepy Halloween campaign:


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​A new Florida law makes it an offense punishable by one year in prison to traffic in horse meat. That, and several arrests and the destruction of a whole freakin' horse-killing neighborhood have made it extremely difficult to buy horse meat in Miami-Dade County-- as undercover cops will complain. More >>

Jackie Sayet

Q the bussers.

​To the rhythm of the bongos, bubbly in-hand, we bopped down the horseshoe of booths at last night's Perrier-Jouet Bubble Q. It's an event you accept for its woes as much as its wows. Expecting fabulous food, easy maneuvering in the crowds and glimpsing  the big man would have been a a mistake. The fun was in seeing familiar faces and meeting new ones. It was also about the hunt for diamonds in the rough one bite of one dish at a time. As seasoned Bubble Q veterans know, only the truly deserving dishes should be devoured after the first bite to save room, lest you not make it through the night. Here are our standouts this year, having made it through just about the entire line-up, save a few entries.

Jackie Sayet

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Kim Birkedal Hartmann is a fourth generation French Cognac boss. His family has been in the business since 1887.

He recently partnered with American rapper Ludacris to produce Conjure Cognac, a liquor blended purposely for mixability, a concept alien to Cognac purists who believe the drink should be served neat, as it always has been.

We caught up with Kim poolside at the House of Conjure, the Miami Beach mansion where his new venture has headquartered for Super Bowl week.

Kim was drinking a "Luda," Conjure with pineapple juice. It wasn't his first of the day, and it wouldn't be the last, but the dude is an expert, professional drinker. Listen above to hear what he has to say about girls in the pool, staying with the times, and the future of Birkedal Hartmann.

Fridge, McMahon, Coke, Super Bowl 1986

​This Sunday, February 7, football rules the airwaves when Super Bowl 44 beams out live from Miami, and millions of dollars worth of commercials for crap you don't need and foods that kill-slowly connive their way into your subconscious, wallet, and fridge.

The more things change, the more they stay the same. Here are our Top Ten Super Bowl commercials from the 1980s. This is a food blog so they're all food and drink related.
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If you have your pointer finger on the pulse of the global food community and its star chefs, you would know this past weekend was the Ritz-Carlton Grand Cayman's second annual Cayman Cookout. 

We're referring to the island rendezvous of illustrious professional cooks including José Andrés, David Chang, Dean Fearing, Grant Achatz, and Anthony Bourdain, joined by our own trailblazing talents Cindy Hutson, Dean Max, Michael Schwartz, Sara Mair (of Top Chef 3) and Paula Desilva (of Hell's Kitchen 5).

You probably would also have tweeted that it was hosted by the seafood sovereign and delightfully gracious chef Eric Ripert, who oversees the property's dining, such as its flagship Blue.

Admit it. You wish you were us. Wish you were there on Seven Mile Beach. Grand Cayman. Cayman Islands. The Caribbean.

No worries. We caught some time with the host at the Cayman Cultural Showcase, this past Thursday's welcome event on the hotel beachfront, celebrating Caymanian art, heritage, and food. 

Notice the eye contact. Even with fun distractions! Bourdain and Andrés, with antics in the wings... Certainly if there ever were a chef who could compel the queen to knight a Frenchman, this is her gentleman. Voilà!